Nash Bridges

Nash Bridges (1996–2001) is an American police procedural television series created by Carlton Cuse that aired on CBS about two Inspectors with the San Francisco Police Department's Special Investigations Unit (SIU).

Nash Bridges: You know, I remember a time when I used to make you laugh. Now all I do is piss you off. Why is that?

Lisa Bridges: You want the whole laundry list?

[Nash's face twists into a dreading expression]

Lisa Bridges: Starting with A for anniversaries you missed or where your pager went off. Or we can go to B for booze. Or we can jump right to W for women. You know, you should take a good look at your own life before you come over here passing judgement on mine!

Lisa Bridges: I thought you were retired, Joe.

Joe Dominguez: [about Lisa and Nash] Why sit at home and watch Jerry Springer when I can see all that stuff live?

Evan Cortez: This is a nice ride. I've never seen a car like this. What is it?

Nash Bridges: This is a 1970 Plymouth Barracuda. The reason you've never seen one is because they only made 14 of them.

[Joe was working traffic because something with his pension got screwed up]

Lt. A.J. Shimamura: Care to tell us what happened, Joe?

Joe Dominguez: Who cares if his father's a president of the San Francisco bank?

Lt. A.J. Shimamura: Humor me. I care.

Nash Bridges: Let me get this straight - you pepper-sprayed him for illegal parking?

Joe Dominguez: Yes.

[Nash laughs]

Joe Dominguez: He came at me. And I exhausted all proper procedures, A.J.

Nash Bridges: [smirking] I'm sorry I missed that one.

Joe Dominguez: He comes at me saying he knows Kung Fu and that crap. He went down in flames like a twelve o'clock high.

Nash Bridges: Oooh, you bad. [Laughs again]

Joe Dominguez: And that's when he twisted his knee. The funny thing is, he'll probably get a disabled placard now.

[Nash is now laughing hard]

Lt. A.J. Shimamura: Are you two through yet? The I.R. went straight to the chief. And you, carnal, have the distinction of being the only cop I know of ever to get kicked out of traffic.

[Nash laughs]

Joe Dominguez: What about my pension? What about my hog? I kinda liked it.

Lt. A.J. Shimamura: Your hog? Forget your Harley!

[Nash laughs]

Lt. A.J. Shimamura: The chief made me take you back.

Nash Bridges: Oh, no!

Joe Dominguez: Got anything out at the airport? Unloading/loading that kinda thing?

Lt. A.J. Shimamura: You wish. No. We got you back all to ourselves.

Nash Bridges: Don't you run from me! Sid, you son of a bitch! Sid, I got a rule: anybody I have to chase more than fifty yards gets an ass whoopin'!

Cassidy Bridges: So, Evan, when you actually catch a thief, how can you tell if he's actually telling the truth?

Evan Cortez: Ah, I don't know, I guess it comes from experience, wouldn't you say, Harv? when you learn to read body language, you know, the look in somebody's eye, the tone of their voice, the small gesture, that kind of thing... give a lot away.

Harvey Leek: Oh, yeah. Yeah, sometimes the signals are so obvious you'd have to be a fool to miss 'em. [as Evan is oblivious to the strong signals of attraction Cassidy is sending]

Joe Dominguez: Look at them, you'd think they'd never seen a Mexican in a space suit before.

Joe Dominguez: [after having been possibly infected by a deadly virus] Just out of curiosity, doctor, what are thee, ah, symptoms of this infection?

Lab Technician: After seventy-two hours you get rapidly-rising fever, mental disorientation, um, accumulation of fluid in the lungs, ah, disintegration of the neural system, rhenal and colon failure, liquidation on the internal intestinal membranes, and death within thirty-six hours.

Joe Dominguez: Oh, good, you had me worried there for a minute.

Harvey Leek: There's a very good reason you didn't recognize the shell casing: it's very rare and made in limited-run by a small German firm and Interpol confirms this is the Monk's bullet du jour.

Joe Dominguez: Ah, you wanna handle this one?

Nash Bridges: I don't know. A man on a cable car with a set of wings holding a hand grenade... this is your thing, isn't it?

Angel: You realize what just happened?

Nash Bridges: [as they all hide behind a car from a rooftop assassin] Yeah - somebody's trying to kill us.

Angel: I found you just like I was supposed to.

Nash Bridges: What? What the hell you talking about?

Angel: I'm your guardian angel.

Joe Dominguez: Oh, great - we could use one.

Angel: [to Joe] I said I was his guardian angel; you, you're on your own.

Nash Bridges: :[as a suspicious man pushing an ice cream cart approaches then, after just earlier missing multiple assassins] Freeze, bubba, right there!

Vendor: [after reaching down into the cart] Who? Me?

Nash Bridges: You. Take it out real slow.

Vendor: [after pulling out a popsicle] If you don't want cherry, I got root beer.

Nash Bridges: [after putting his gun down] No, I'll take cherry.

Joe Dominguez: I'll take root beer. Unless you got a fudgesicle.

Bryn Carson: I dated a shrink once.

Evan Cortez: Yeah, so did I.

Joe Dominguez: Oh, yeah? Well maybe it was the same guy.

Joe Dominguez: So, I had this dream the other night, right? And in this dream I get save from drowning... by David Hasselhoff. Is that normal?

Psychiatrist: [laughing] It could mean many things.

Harvey Leek: Here's what throws me: A guy like Evan goes on a security-duty and spends two minutes schmoozing with Lisa Bridges - Nash's ex - Nash Bridges, acting lieutenant of S.I.U. and next thing you know he's got a full-on romance going on with her.

Psychiatrist: A full-on romance?

Harvey Leek: Yeah, that's what I hear.

Psychiatrist: Sounds like you're envious.

Harvey Leek: Envious? No. You know that scene in Star Wars where that sand creature takes a thousand years to digest a guy? That's humane compared to what Nash would do if he caught Evan sleeping with his ex.

Psychiatrist: What is your relationship like with the people that work for you?

Nash Bridges: Good.

Psychiatrist: No problems?

Nash Bridges: We have our issues, but we generally work through them. I respect them and I think they respect me.

Psychiatrist: You were involved in a shooting yesterday. You killed a man.

Nash Bridges: I killed a man, yes. I also saved another man's life.

Psychiatrist: Do you want to talk about it?

Nash Bridges: What's to talk about?

Psychiatrist: You tell me.

Nash Bridges: [sighs] Tommy Luck was a bad man, and his children will no longer have a father. And I did that. [pause] Like I said, he was a bad man. Then I went home to my father, and that's a whole other story.

Psychiatrist: Your father lives with you?

Nash Bridges: Yeah, he's great. [starts laughing, remembering] He's got this uh, this pinball machine, and he woke me up about 3:30 in the morning the other day playing the damn thing. What a pain in the ass! [pause] At the time. But I look back on it now and it's a fond memory.

Psychiatrist: Did you tell your father what happened to you yesterday?

Nash Bridges: Nah, I spare him the details. [pauses, looks at therapist] ...what?

Psychiatrist: I get the feeling that you show a lot of concern for other people's feelings, but you haven't told me yet how you feel. How do you feel? [long pause] Can you tell me how you feel, Inspector?

[Nash's smile fades, he looks away and eventually looks back, eyes filled with tears]

Joe Dominguez: Wish I had as good a relationship with my wife as you have with your ex wife.

Nash Bridges: divorce her. [laughs]

Nash Bridges: Well, try this one for a theory and see if it blows your skirt up.

Nash Bridges: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to suggest Elvis is still in the building.

Joe Dominguez: [as they are being shot at by a pursuing vehicle] You know, if you drive a little slower I might be able to hit something.

Nash Bridges: Yeah? Well, if you'd hit something I might be able to driver a little slower!

Joe Dominguez: I don't get it - I never had trouble getting a ride, even as a kid. I mean, even when I looked like latino Charles Manson. No problem.

Joe Dominguez: So, ah, you're gonna let Cassidy drive the 'Cuda?

Nash Bridges: Yes, I was.

Joe Dominguez: Yeah, but I never get to drive the car. A wonder how that all fits together, doesn't it?

Nash Bridges: What does?

Joe Dominguez: You know, you, your car, your whole attitude towards the Dominguez clan.

Nash Bridges: What are you getting mad about?

Joe Dominguez: Well, you hurt my feelings, all right? I mean, you may not realize it, but J.J. is actually a very decent upstanding young man. You know, God just played a trick on me and put him in a slacker's body.

Nash Bridges: Joe. [laughs]

Joe Dominguez: Hey man, looks are very deceiving, you know? I mean, check it out: if Ingrid sized me up on looks alone, would she have married me?

Nash Bridges: All right, look, I'm going to be honest with you: you know I love J.J., I've always loved that kid. Cassidy, you know Cassidy - she's tough, man; she'll eat J.J. up and spit him out. I'm not going to do that to him. Or to you. I'm serious, man. I'm sorry if I hurt you feelings. I didn't mean to, you know that.

Nash Bridges: San Francisco, damn it's good to be home, isn't it, bubba?

Joe Dominguez: Shhh, yeah, but next time you ask me to go for a ride through the country, forget it.

Nash Bridges: What do you mean, you didn't like the fresh air?

Joe Dominguez: Hey, I love the fresh air; it was the bullets flying through the fresh air I didn't dig.

Nash Bridges: Joe's gonna stay here with Holly and I need to borrow your car for about an hour.

Lisa Bridges: Well, am I going to get it back with bullet holes?

Nash Bridges: With any luck.

Nash Bridges: [to Harvey, wearing a shirt he borrowed from Evan] Nice shirt. you don't often see that color... outside of bowling alleys.

Bryn Carson: So, ah, Harv, how are things going with Bonnie? Any progress?

Harvey Leek: Ah, I don't know. She's down on my job 'n' down on my love for The Grateful Dead, she talks about Ross Perot just to piss me off.

Harvey Leek: Hey! Somebody want to let us out of here? We're police officers - we don't belong here!

[prisoners shout and laugh]

Joe Dominguez: Shut up! That's not an asset in here!

Joe Dominguez: [as they sit in the dark in the hole in prison] Harvey?

Harvey Leek: Hey, Joe. We gotta get out of here.

Joe Dominguez: No kidding. One little problem: it's a maximum security prison, remember?

Harvey Leek: I'm claustrophobic, remember?

Joe Dominguez: Hey, don't worry, they'll come back. They got to come back to kill us.

Harvey Leek: That's comforting.

Evan Cortez: Man, this guy runs like a gazelle!

Nash Bridges: Why do you think that bastard ran this way?

Bryn Carson: Why exactly did you dump me? I mean, I'm relatively attractive, stable, moderately fun... what did I ever do to you?

Paco: Are you going to turn this takedown into a therapy session, Bryn?

Bryn Carson: Come on, Paco, it's not going to kill you to tell me the truth. Once.

Paco: Okay... you were too insecure, to moody, too manipulative, too st - [he is cut off when she fires at him once]

Bryn Carson: Sorry, slipped.

Nash Bridges: [to a suspect] Talk to me first; I'm easier and a hell of a lot cheaper.

Joe Dominguez: I'll vouch for that; he's cheap and easy.

Harvey Leek: I love doughnuts. One of the main attractions to becoming a cop.

Joe Dominguez: [taking the dental packing out of his mouth, riding in Nash's car] That was the longest twenty minutes of my life outside my prostate exame.

Nash Bridges: 'Scuse me - where you you thinkin' on putting that?

Joe Dominguez: I was thinking the ashtray.

Nash Bridges: [handing Joe a piece of tissue paper] Yeah, well, I'm thinking you wrap it in this until we pass a city trash can.

Joe Dominguez: You okay? Want me to drive?

Nash Bridges: I'm in shock, I'm not insane.

Harvey Leek: She's a black widow, man.

Evan Cortez: [grinning] I can change her, Harv, I know I can.

Joe Dominguez: See anything?

Nash Bridges: Yeah, there's a sale on Pauly Shore movies.

Joe Dominguez: [motioning to a bus beside them that has a poster plastered on its side with a banner that says "Sex is Good. Safe Sex is Better."] Huh. That poster looks just like your daughter, bubba.

Nash Bridges: [surprised] That is my daughter.

Joe Dominguez: You know, I wonder if Ingrid and I are gonna have, a little boy or little girl. You know what I mean? with a little boy you can, you know, kind of initiate him into the club, you know? With a little girl I think you spend most of your time kind of protecting her from the club, you know?

Nash Bridges: Oh, bubba - you are not wrong there.

Nash Bridges: [about Cassidy] Okay, where is she?

Lisa Bridges: She stormed off to the library

Nash Bridges: Oh, she stormed off? And just what is it she has to be angry about?

Lisa Bridges: Apparently she didn't like it when I found her condoms.

Nash Bridges: What condoms?

Lisa Bridges: The ones she plans to use when she and Freddie have sex.

Joe Dominguez: [looks uncomfortable] Um, you have anything to read?

Lisa Bridges: On the coffee table.

Joe Dominguez: I'll be reading and, um, eavesdropping from over here.

Nash Bridges: I don't believe this.

Joe Dominguez: Should have had a boy, Nash man. Probably be buying him condoms yourself.

Lisa Bridges: [laughs] That's true.

Nash Bridges: That is not true! That is not true.

Lisa Bridges: Think about it, Nash: what is Cassidy doing we didn't do at her age?

Nash Bridges: Lisa, I don't wanna be thinkin', at my age, at what Cassidy was doin' that we did when she's her age.

Nash Bridges: [about Karen] But she does make the crime page.

Evan Cortez: Oh, yeah, she does.

Nash Bridges: That's good.

Evan Cortez: Yeah, she catches a lot of bad guys; big-time gang leaders, drug dealers, that kind of thing.

Joe Dominguez: So, she's a good cop, huh?

Evan Cortez: [to Nash] Yeah, in Chicago she's like a female version of you.

Joe Dominguez: No wonder I thought she was so sexy.

Nash Bridges: Oh, baby.

Isaiah: [about Karen, looking through the peephole] Well, she don't look like a cop. She looks like a supermodel.

Joe Dominguez: She's Cindy Crawford. As a matter of fact, we're all supermodels. Come on, man, open the door.

Nash Bridges: Yeah, open it up - we're late for an S.I. swimsuit shoot.

Harvey Leek: Let's hope our next stake out is Jenny McCarthy's.

Evan Cortez: I wish.

Karen Decker: Why didn't you run?

Nash Bridges: I don't like to run.

Joe Dominguez: Hey, Bettina, I haven't seen you since you got fired from the S.I.U.; heard you moved to Vegas.

Rick Bettina: I didn't get fired, I was downsized.

Joe Dominguez: [after a girl gives Nash her number] Can't we go anywhere without chicks hitting on you?

Nash Bridges: Chicks don't hit on me.

Joe Dominguez: Please, have you had an eye exam lately?

Nash Bridges: Stop it.

Joe Dominguez: I'd like to be able to flirt every once in a while.

Nash Bridges: Well, then, do it. There's no harm in it; you're married, not dead.

Joe Dominguez: [holding out his hand and showing off his wedding ring] Are you kidding, man? I'm branded. That is chick repellant right there.

Rick Bettina: You know, Nash, I used to be a feared and respected cop in this town, remember?

Joe Dominguez: [laughing] I don't know about the respected part, but I was sure afraid every time I went out with you.

Nash Bridges: [about Ingrid] Bubba, I am only going to say this five or six hundred more times: tell her the truth.

Joe Dominguez: I can't tell her the truth.

Nash Bridges: Why not?

Joe Dominguez: Because I want to stay married, that's why.

Nash Bridges: You know what's amazing? Not only do you come up with these schemes, you actually follow through with them.

Barry Chen: If you want to find Tiger, this is where you'll find him.

Joe Dominguez: This is a marijuana club.

Barry Chen: I know. Totally legal under prop 215 as long as you have a valid medical excuse.

Joe Dominguez: For what?

Barry Chen: Weed. Pot. Dope. Marijuana. Grass.

Joe Dominguez: No, I mean what's wrong with you?

Barry Chen: Oh! Depression.

Joe Dominguez: Depression?

Barry Chen: Yeah, I get really depressed when I'm not getting stoned.

Barry Chen: I can probably get him to set you up.

Joe Dominguez: Actually, I stopped smoking pot years ago.

Barry Chen: Oh no? What's your drug of choice now, man?

Joe Dominguez: Uh, Rogaine.

Barry Chen: Rogaine? What's that? Do you snort it?

Dr. John Joseph: How are you doing Barry?

Barry Chen: Eh listen, this is my good friend ehm... Sorry, what's your name again?

Joe Dominguez: Eh, Joe.

Barry Chen: Joe, this is Joe.

[Barry watches helplessly as Charlie Pep's thugs rob the vault.]

Barry Chen: You don't want to mess with Bobby Wu. I'm telling you, man. I once saw him take a guy's intestines and pull 'em out through his nose. I'm telling you, man. I once saw him take a guy's cajones and make Dim Sun out of them. I'm telling you, man.

Thug: Shut up.

Barry Chen: Okay.

[Barry puts a sculpture into the bag.]

Barry Chen: Here. Take this. It's insured.

• Don Johnson - Inspector/Acting Lieutenant/Captain Nash Bridges
• Cheech Marin - Inspector/Lieutenant Joe Dominguez
• Jodi Lyn O'Keefe - Cassidy Bridges
• Jeff Perry - Inspector Harvey Leek
• Jaime P. Gomez - Inspector Evan Cortez (seasons 1–5)
• Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa - Lieutenant A. J. Shimamura (seasons 1 & 2)
• Serena Scott Thomas - Kelly Bridges (seasons 1 & 2; guest season 3)
• Annette O'Toole - Lisa Bridges (seasons 1 & 2; guest seasons 3 & 4)
• James Gammon - Nick Bridges (seasons 2–6; recurring season 1)
• Mary Mara - Inspector Bryn Carson (season 2; guest seasons 1 &
• Kelly Hu - Inspector Michelle Chan (season 3; guest season 4)
• Yasmine Bleeth - Inspector Caitlin Cross (seasons 4 & 5)
• Wendy Moniz - Inspector Rachel McCabe (season 6)
• Cress Williams - Inspector Antwon Babcock (season 6)

• Nash Bridges quotes at the Internet Movie Database