Things Look Bad for the Streepster [9.08]
- Father: Daniel, meet King Friday's niece.
- Tina: I'm Tina, and I'm years old.
- Daniel Tiger: Tina, if you're my age, why do you look like a grown-up woman lady?
- Tina: I started developing when I was... Well, that's how old I am.
- Daniel: How come I don't have lady balloons?
- Father: Well, Daniel, Tina has something called... precocious puberty!
- Daniel: [Singing] Everybody's gonna grow. that's a fact that we all know. There's no shame in letting nature have its way. Hormones in us cause these surges. We get pubes, we get urges. And it's beautiful, no matter what they say. Most are changing 'round! That's the average and the mean... [Points to Tina] ...Unless you've got precocious puberty!
- Tina: Okay but...
- Father: Could be hormones in our food
- Daniel: Could be nature being rude, No one knows what causes this calamity. Yes, Tina's got precocious puberty! Boys and girls as young as Growing breasts and shaggy floors!
- Father: Got it dude.
- Tina: [Frightened] Am I gonna get p-p-precosis prububerty?
- Father: Well, it's very rare in tigers, son.
- Tina: Wait! aren't tigers usually fully grown at Daniel's age?
- Father: Yes, that's true, but Daniel's got...
- All: [singing] Dwarfism, dwarfism! [daniel sobs]
We Don't See Much of That in 1940s America [9.08]
- Kid 1: It's hard to find a great-tasting breakfast that won't raise my cholesterol.
- Buzz Bee: Did somebody ask for a tasty breakfast?! Nothing beats the taste of oats and honey.
- Kid 1: It's Great! [He bangs the table then buzz bee gets his Stinger stuck to his arm]
- Buzz Bee: WHAT THE [BLEEP]?!
- Kid 1: AWW!
- Buzz Bee: No! No! Oh, my God, NO! This can't be HAPPENING!
- Kid 2: [Confused] It'll bee okay, bee. You'll be okay.
- Buzz Bee: Yeah, yeah. I'll be okay. I'll just... [Groans; he Gets unstuck but his abdomen breaks he screams as ooze is coming out of his abdomen The kids see the blood of his abdomen then falls down] It's so cold. Oh, my heart ... I can feel it slowing down. Oh. Oh, it stopped. I'm ... I'm so scared.
- Narrator: Honey Nut Cheerios has oats that'll help lower cholesterol. part of this nutritious breakfast.
He's Not Even Aiming at the Toilet [9.17]
- [Horn honking; he drives home]
- All: Welcome home, Daddy Pig.
- Daddy Pig: Hello, Mummy Pig. Hello, Peppa. Hello, George. Bad news. [Snorts] I've been made redundants.
- Peppa: What's that mean, Daddy?
- Daddy: Well, Peppa, that's the pretentious way of saying, [snort] I got fired.
- Peppa: Oh, no, Daddy Pig. [Snorts] Why?
- Daddy: Because of this damn Brexit. My company has lost far too many [snort] pounds!
- Peppa: [Confused] Oh, it's too bad you haven't lost more pounds, Daddy. You've got a very big tummy.
- Daddy: [Laughs] Peppa! [Snorts] Your jokes at my expense are the only thing keeping me from jumping out of [snort] the window.
- [The doorbell rings peppa walks up to the front door then opens it]
- Randall: Hello, Peppa.
- Peppa: Malika Meerkat and Randall Rhino? What are you doing here?
- Randall: We've come to say goodbye, Peppa. Since Brexit inflamed. anti-immigrant hated crimes, My Muslim family doesn't feel safe anymore.
- Malika: And I'm getting deported back to Aleppo. They'll remove my woman hands, for they have touched a book.
- [At the kitchen]
- Peppa: [Voice breaking] D-Daddy! Why is that happening?
- Daddy: Because, Peppa, [snort] right-winged voters around the world are acting like...
- George: [holding his Dinosaur] Dinosaur, Grrrr!
- Daddy: Not now, George. [Snorts] Like, I was saying, most politicians are afraid of progress, so they're stuck in the past like...
- George: Dinosaur?
- Daddy: Not now, George. [Snort] Anyway, if we let these greedy pigs control our world, we'll all end up like...
- George: Dinosaur!
- Mummy: Yes, George, we see you've got a dinosaur.
- Daddy: [Snorts] Well, since I can no longer bring home the bacon and ham, [chuckles] these will have to do it! [puts his ears on the grill]
- Mummy: Daddy Pig, did you just pull off your ears on the grill?
- Daddy: My Whaaat?! Oh, God!
- [Everyone Laughs]