Rugrats (season 1)

Tommy Pickles and the Great White Thing [Pilot]

[Cut back to the TV, where the fishing show breaks for a chicken commercial]
Chareen: [on TV] Hi, I'm Chareen for Squeaky Chicken Restaurants. [cut back to Grandpa, who gets up from his chair to, shall we say, "take care of personal business"] Want to know what we got in store for you? Our new Chicken Half-Pounder!
Grandpa: Well, nature beckons.
Chareen: [voice only, on TV] The other guys only give you a third of a pound in their chicken sandwich, and, yeech, that's without Squeaky's special sauce. So come on in now and try our new Chicken Half-Pounder! It's more chickenny! And for a limited time only...
[As the commercial continues above, Tommy puts the spent toilet paper and the plunger aside. Grandpa, meanwhile, offstage, gets a surprise of his life]

Tommy's First Birthday [1.1]

Stu: Good morning, Champ.
[Tommy opens his eyes. He is in his crib as Stu and Didi hang a banner that says, HAPPY BIRTHDAY in yellow letters on it]
Stu and Didi: Happy Birthday, Tommy.
[Stu blows a noisemaker and throws confetti, which lands on Tommy, who is wearing a red shirt rather than the light blue one he would wear later throughout the series]
Didi: You're a whole year old today.
Stu: And boy, have we got some great presents for you. [Tommy giggles as Didi picks him up. Didi then kisses him on his forehead. Tommy giggles as Didi lays him down on his changing table. She pulls up his shirt, and untapes Tommy's dirty diaper. Tommy coos as Didi changes his diaper] Wait til' he sees my present, Didi. Did I tell you about the Hoverama prototype?
Didi: Uh-huh, you did, Stu.
Stu: Picture this, Didi. The body's thirty-six inches long and about four feet diameter and... [before he can finish, Didi lifts Tommy's legs] Yikes!
Didi: Oh, just put it in the pail, Stu, and hand me a fresh diaper!

Barbecue Story/Waiter, There's a Baby in My Soup [1.2]

[Tommy cries, and the camera zooms in on his mouth. Stu hears the crying and turns his attention to it, as do Lou and Minka. Howard hears the crying, then looks at Angelica, who innocently pretends not to. Didi runs up to Tommy]
Didi: What's wrong, Tommy? What happened? [picks up Tommy and coos at him] Oh, boo-boo, what's the matter, baby? [as she lifts Tommy up, Tommy sees his ball behind the fence in a neighbor's yard. A light shines on the ball as the camera zooms in on it, then Tommy stops crying] All better now.
Mr. Mucklehoney: I'm so hungry, I could eat a hog, head first!

At the Movies/Slumber Party [1.3]

Baby Commercial/Little Dude [1.4]

Student: [after seeing Tommy's dirty diaper] Wow! That is one bodacious load!

Beauty Contest/Baseball [1.5]

Ruthless Tommy/Moose Country [1.6a]

Tommy: Whoa! Oh! [Spike (with the help of the babies’ weight shifted to the side of the playpen) also tips the playpen onto it’s side and this knocks the babies out - the babies now free, he releases the toy and Spike runs off with it. Chuckie, Phil and Lil lie on the ground] Wow! Moose country.
[Chuckie, thinking for a moment that Tommy was referring to the insect from earlier that’s now on the ground next to him]

Grandpa's Teeth/Momma Trauma [1.7]

[Tommy secretly joins a group of kids that gather with their parents in a different office. Tommy crawls to a boy.]
Tommy: Hey, what's going on here anyway?
Boy: Oh, hang around. It's great. They give you toys to play with
Tommy: Wow!
Men: Parents, children, may I have your attention, please? May I have your attention, please?! MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE?! Thank you. Now I'm sure you all realize that we're gathered here today to test a new toy for that oh-so-fickle preadolescent market. Introducing super blasto man. A fun new toy for all ages [These children, it turns out, are used to gauge the potential success of would-be new toys. This time they're going to play with "Super Blasto Man", a toy robot the children find thoroughly uninteresting.] Now, don't hold back, kids. Anything you want to do with super blasto is all right with us. Just, uh...go crazy [A man walks up to Tommy]
Man: And here's a super blasto man for you, little boy. And this is what super blasto can shoot out of the launch pad in his stomach [The man leaves Tommy with the toy. Tommy pulls the rubber ball out of the center of the toy's chest and begins to play with it instead.]
Boy: Hey, look what that kid did [The boy also takes the ball out of the center of the toy's chest and begins to play with it] That's neat.

Real or Robots?/Special Delivery [1.8]

Candy Bar Creep Show/Monster in the Garage [1.9]

Weaning Tommy/Incident in Aisle Seven [1.10]

[Following the Rugrats theme song, the brief opening titles show the names of creator Arlene Klasky and Gabor Csupo. The episode opens up with Tommy drinking out of his bottle. Upon finishing the bottle, he giggles and smiles, as his parents walk into his bedroom.]
Didi: Oh, just because you're afraid, of the tooth fairy doesn't mean Tommy will be.
Stu: Afraid? I'm not afraid of tooth fairies, or their drills...or their metal instruments.
[Didi looks through the diaper bag to make sure it's packed for the trip.]
Didi: Now, let's see. I've got diapers, wipies, books, blankets, a cap, a change of clothes, bandages in case of an emergency and two extra bottles of juice.
[Didi picks up Tommy.]
Didi: Time to go see the den...to see the tooth fairy.
[Now at the dentist office, Tommy is in the dentist chair with Stu and Didi by his sides, the dentist, with a creepy looking smile on his face, peering at Tommy.]
Dr. Homer: Open. Open.
[Tommy refuses to open his mouth. He appears to be very nervous.]
Didi: What's the matter, sweetie? The dent...uh, the tooth fairy isn't going to hurt you. No, no. He just wants to take a little peak inside your mouth. Come on, honey. Just a little.
Dr. Homer: Dolly said, "open".
Didi: Come on Tommy please, be a good helper and open your mouth. For daddy?
Stu: [muttering quietly] Be a good helper.
[Tommy moans nervously. Dr. Homer is holding up a toy truck.]
Dr. Homer: Open the gate for the truck to come through.
[Didi is holding up a stuffed bunny.]
Didi: Open your mouth for Mr. Snuggle Bunny.
[Dr. Homer is holding up a lollipop.]
Dr. Homer: I'll give you this nice sugar free sucker if you open.
[During all of these attempts, Tommy refuses to open his mouth. Finally, Dr. Homer puts on a mask that looks like Reptar, and starts making monsterous noises, at which point, Tommy opens his mouth.]
Dr. Homer: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yes, I see.
[As Dr. Homer is saying all of this, he's carefully examining Tommy's one tooth, which is on the bottom row, over towards the frunt right side of his mouth, as we're getting a view of what Dr. Homer is doing from inside Tommy's mouth.]
Dr. Homer: You'll have to clean it carefully, or be prepared to face some serious consequences.
Stu: Thank you, Dr. Homer.
[Dr. Homer stops Stu.]
Dr. Homer: Uh, open your mouth.
Stu: What?
Dr. Homer: Open your mouth!
[Stu reluctantly opens his mouth for Dr. Homer to examine him.]
Dr. Homer: How long have you had that cross bite, Mr. Pickles?
Stu: [in surprise] Crossbite?
Dr. Homer: [muttering] Hmm. Weaned too late as a child. [in a normal tone of voice] I'll have to recommend you to a specialist. A year or two of braces should fix that right up.
Stu: [surprised again] Braces?
[They start to leave the dentist office, as Tommy reaches into the diaper bag to get out a bottle, only to knock it on to the floor of Dr. Homer's office, making a small spill of juice on the rug.]
Dr. Homer: Oh, he's not still on the bottle, is he?
Didi: Well...
Dr. Homer: Now that he's got a tooth, it's time to wean him.
Didi: You mean...take him off the bottle? But he's barely a year old.
[Dr. Homer pulls down a chart on his wall that shows two pictures. Dr. Homer is pointing to a child in the picture who has rotten teeth.]
Dr. Homer: This boy...his parents didn't think it was important to wean him.
[Dr. Homer is now pointing to a child in the picture with a perfect smile.]
Dr. Homer: This child...Well, you get my point.
[Dr. Homer rolls up the chart back into the wall.]
Dr. Homer: Oh, uh, here, have a balloon.
[Dr. Homer hands Didi a balloon as they leave the office. Later on at night, Tommy is now in his crib, happily drinking his bottle as Stu and Didi tuck him in to go to sleep.]
Didi: Dr. Homer knows about teeth. Teeth are his life.
Stu: But Tommy loves his bottle. We can't just, take it away.
Didi: Stu, if we don't take care of this Tommy might have to wear braces someday.
[Tommy is heard giggling in the background as Didi says this.]
Stu: Braces. Oh, yeah. The kids will call him metal mouth or tin grin or...silver sidewalk Stu or something.
Didi: Tomorrow morning, first thing.
Stu: First thing.
[As they say this to each other, they shut off the lights in Tommy's room, as Tommy finishes his bottle and falls asleep, feeling good and happy. The next morning, Tommy is in his highchair, eager to start the day, until Didi hands him something new. A sippy cup with a smiley face on it with the word "Mr. Tippy" written on it. Tommy stares at the cup and frowns in disappointment.]
Didi: See, Tommy? You drink out of here.
[She points to the spout on the sippy top.]
Didi: This little spout is where the milk comes from.
[Tommy sees one of his old bottles on a high shelf and points to it, cooing in excitement.]
Didi: Oh, please try your cup, sweetie pie. You have to get use to it.
[Disappointed, Tommy turns the cup upside down, dripping milk all over the floor.]
Tommy: Hmm...
[A little while later, Tommy is sitting on the kitchen floor, banging a pot on the floor.]
Tommy: Ohh...
[The telephone rings. Didi, who was cleaning out all of Tommy's old baby bottles in the sink, stops what she is doing and runs over to answer it.]
Didi: Hello? Oh, hi, Betty. Yeah, we're fine. But this thing with Tommy and the tooth fairy is really getting to me.
[Tommy uses this opportunity to escape and go look for his bottle.]
Tommy: Ooh...
Didi: I am so glad to hear that. It's so hard. He's being very difficult.
[First, he crawls out of the kitchen and looks in the living room.]
Tommy: Under my toys.
[Tommy looks through a pile of toys in his playpen, but doesn't find a bottle. Then, he looks behind several other places in the room, behind the TV being one of them, but nothing. Then, he gets an idea as he stares over at the sofa.]
Tommy: The sofa?
[Tommy peers beneath the sofa to find a bottle, but can't reach it. So using a toy bulldozer, he tries to get the bottle out from beneath the couch. He's successful, but once its released from its hiding place, it rolls in the direction of where Didi is standing in the kitchen, still talking to Betty on the telephone.]
Didi: Talk to you later. Bye-bye.
[As Didi hangs up the phone, the bottle lands at her feet.]
Didi: Oh, here's one I missed.
[Didi picks up the baby bottle and goes to wash it off with the others which frustrates Tommy. Then Tommy looks through his bedroom, when he rummages through a basket of assorted items. Thinking he has found a bottle, as he sees a nipple sticking up from the pile, he picks it up, only to be sadly disappointed when it's revealed to only be a pacifier. Tommy throws down the pacifier in disgust and disappointment. Phil and Lil have shown up to play, and they're now seen, drinking out of their bottles. Tommy crawls towards them, looking thirsty and sad.]
Tommy: Phil? Lil? I need a drink.
Lil: Well, where's your bottle?
Tommy: When I woke up this morning it was gone.
Phil: Gee, that's too bad.
Lil: Yeah. Sorry, Tommy. I wish we could help.
[Phil and Lil return to sucking on their bottles.]
Tommy: I don't get it. How come you two can get a bottle and I can't?
Phil: I don't know. How come Angelica gets to go to daycare all day and we don't?
Tommy: They took my bottle away and gave me this dumb cup with a happy face on it.
Lil: Did you do anything bad?
Tommy: I don't think so. They took me to this guy who put his fingers in my mouth.
Phil: Did you bite them?
Tommy: Nope.
[Cut to the couch across the room, where Didi is talking to Betty.]
Betty: Weaning? At one-year-old? That's the dumbest thing I ever heard. My pediatrician Doc Mulligan doesn't even want me to start thinking about weaning until the twins are two.
Didi: I know, but the dentist said...
Betty: Did you get a look at his dental school diploma, deed? Ha, guy's probably a quack.
[Didi puts a finger to her lips. Back in the playpen.]
Tommy: Um, do you want to share?
Phil: We're not suppose to.
Tommy: Oh. A little sip?
Phil and Lil: Nuh uh.
Tommy: I'll give you something.
Phil: What?
[Tommy is holding up a set of play stacking cups.]
Tommy: My stacking cups.
Phil: You're missing some of them.
[Tommy is now holding up a board book.]
Tommy: My snowman book?
Lil: I read it.
[Tommy is now riding on a toy ride on tractor.]
Tommy: My ride on tractor?
Phil and Lil: Hmm...
Lil: No. We're suppose to get one for our birthdays.
Tommy: [disappointed] Oh.
[Then, Tommy gets an idea. Tommy is pointing in the direction opposite from where Phil and Lil are looking.]
Tommy: Hey, look over there. It's a big green scary monster with red eyes!
Phil and Lil: [panicking] Where?!
[Phil and Lil drop their bottles in a hurry to the ground, just as Tommy snatches one of them up and starts drinking from it. Just as Tommy starts drinking from it, Didi catches him in the act, runs over to the playpen, and picks up Tommy, taking the bottle out of his hand, at which point, Tommy tries to reach for it, just as Lil starts sucking on her bottle very fast, so as to finish the contents of the bottle before Tommy can get a hold of it.]
Didi: No, no, no. Honey, I'm sorry, but Dr. Homer says you're too big for bottles now.
[Didi puts Tommy on the floor outside of the playpen, at which he stares in at Phil and Lil, moaning in disappointment, a huge frown on his face. Later that day, Tommy is now in his crib taking a nap, when he starts to have a bad dream. The dream starts with him going through a green and black striped wormwhole.]
Didi: No, no, no. You're too big for bottles now.
Dr. Homer: No more bottle, but how about a balloon?
[As he's saying this, his head with no body is spinning around the wormwhole, as Tommy crawls past him. Soon, Tommy is now crawling through another wormwhole, that's blue and orange striped on either side, with a light at the end. As he's crawling along a sidewalk path towards the light, Phil, and Lil's heads fade in and out, repeating things he heard earlier that day.]
Phil: Sorry, Tommy.
Lil: Yeah. Sorry. Wish we could help.
[As Tommy reaches the light, it turns out to be Stu's open mouth, at which Tommy falls in.]
Stu: Crossbite?
[Tommy falls into Stu's mouth. After Tommy falls into Stu's mouth, he lands on the back of Stu's tongue, where several baby bottles surround him. As Tommy reaches for the bottles, they disappear, as he hears Didi's voice in the background.]
Didi: No, honey. I'm sorry, but Dr. Homer says you're too big for bottles...
[Didi's line, too big for bottles continues to echo, as Tommy continues to reach for the bottles, when he falls out of Stu's mouth down on to the kitchen floor.]
Tommy: Ooh. Bottle! Bottle!
[The bottle is smaller than a crayon, walking on the kitchen floor, barely coming up to Tommy's knee.]
Bottle: Here I am, Tommy. Down here.
Tommy: [cackling] Bottle.
[Tommy picks up the bottle, which is so small, it fits perfectly between his thumb and index finger.]
Bottle: Sorry, Tommy, but you're way too big for me.
[The bottle jumps out of Tommy's hand as it runs across the floor, and Tommy tries to reach for it.]
Tommy: Hey!
Mr. Tippy: Hey, Tommy!
Tommy: Bottle?
Mr. Tippy: No, Tommy, it's time to use me now.
[Tommy turns around to see a giant sippy cup that looks similar to the one he was forced into using that morning before him. The cup now has arms and legs, as it continues to smile. The cup chases Tommy through the room, until the cup has him cornered at a cliff.]
Mr. Tippy: Drink me!
Tommy: No!
Mr. Tippy: Drink me!
[Tommy is now jumping up and down in frustration.]
Tommy: No! I want my bottle!
[A giant bottle that's twice Tommy's size with arms and legs walks into the room. His face is part of the nipple.]
Giant Bottle: Did somebody say bottle?
Mr. Tippy: Drink me!
Giant Bottle: Go away!
[Just then, the giant bottle defeats the sippy cup by splattering milk on it, causing it to fall of the cliff into a ravine with river of milk.]
Giant Bottle: He won't bother you anymore, Tommy.
Tommy: But what do I drink out of now? I'm too big for bottles.
Giant Bottle: I'm a big people's bottle, Tommy. You're just the right size for me.
[Tommy giggles and embraces the giant bottle, just as he starts to drink from the giant nipple. Tommy hears his name being echoed several times, at first, in the voice of the giant bottle, until it turns into Didi's voice, at which time, he wakes up from the dream to see Didi peering down at him in his crib.]
Didi: Tommy? Tommy? Tommy? Did you have a nice nap?
[Tommy looks up at his mother with disappointment. Later in the kitchen, Tommy is once again in his highchair, with another sippy cup. Unhappy, he tosses it on to the floor.]
Grandpa: Aw, just give him a bottle. My brother Sparky drank from a bottle for 15 years and he's got a bite like a bear trap.
[Stu attempts to give Tommy milk in the purple cup, mug and even the cup with flowers on it, at which Tommy knocks them off of his highchair on to the floor, splattering milk everywhere, at which Spike comes along, and starts lapping up.]
Didi: Oh...
[Didi is moaning in frustration when Spike licks up the milk. Didi is now putting Tommy to bed in his crib.]
Didi: [disappointingly] I'm sorry, honey but we just can't give you a bottle. You'll get used to the cup, we promise.
[Tommy starts bawling at the top of his lungs, as Didi turns out the lights, closing the door behind her, leaning against it in defeat.]
Didi: This is terrible.
Stu: I feel so rotten.
Didi: I know, but we agreed.
Stu: Right. He has to get used to this.
Didi: We have to wean him.
[As Stu and Didi are having this conversation outside of Tommy's bedroom door, he is heard, still crying in the background. Later that night, the entire house is dark, as Stu, Didi and Grandpa all enter quietly into the hallway, carrying bottles.]
Stu: Oh. Hi, pop.
Grandpa: Uh...just looking for my TV guide.
Stu: I was just, uh...hey, what are you doing here, Didi?
Didi: Well, I was just, uh...wait a minute. What are you doing here? Shh!
[They open the door to Tommy's room, and stare in at him, asleep in his crib.]
Stu: Aw...he's sleeping.
Didi: We'll give him back his bottle tomorrow.
[Stu and Didi leave the room, but before Grandpa Lou can leave, Tommy reaches out and snatches the baby bottle away from him. Tommy happily giggles, as he starts to drink the bottle. The episode begins with a close-up of a sea bass opening and closing its mouth. The camera zooms out, revealing it to be part of a TV show on the Pickles' television.]
Announcer: And there he is, Bob--
[Grandpa and Tommy are revealed to be watching the television. Grandpa is sitting in the chair, with a box of Fudgy Ding-a-Ling Bars. Tommy is sitting in front of him, opening and closing his mouth like the Sea Bass.]
Announcer: 25 pounds of prime striped sea bass. Never did catch him neither.
Grandpa: Hey Scout, you're blocking the view!
[Grandpa moves his head but can't see past Tommy's.]
Grandpa: Okay. You win.
[Grandpa presses a button on the remote, which changes the channel to a show about a circus. Children cheer on the TV.]
Tommy: Hmm.
[Grandpa turns to his box of Fudgy Ding-a-Ling Bars. He reaches in, then looks inside, finding it completely empty. Tommy gasps.]
Grandpa: Humph! Gone already.
[As Grandpa leaves, Tommy turns to face him. He turns back and gasps again. A commercial for Reptar Cereal airs on the TV, and a box of the aforementioned cereal spins during the commercial. The box explodes, and a piece of the cereal appears and grows a mouth with teeth.]
Commercial Singer: They're round, they're mean!
Tommy: Reptar.
[In the commercial, several pieces of Reptar Cereal fall into a bowl of milk, turning it green.]
Commercial Singer: They turn milk green!
Tommy: Reptar.
[In the commercial, the mouth of a box of Reptar Cereal opens and pours out pieces of cereal.]
Commercial Singer: Open up his mouth and pour them out, Reptar Cereal, it makes you want to shout-
[In the commercial, Reptar catches the cereal in his mouth. He licks his lips, then knocks over some buildings. Tommy imitates Reptar in the commercial by knocking over some wooden blocks.]
Commercial Singer: -Reptar! We want Reptar! Reptar!
[Tommy giggles as he walks. Stu then picks him up, grunting as he does so.]
Stu: Okay, champ. Time to go to the supermarket.
[Stu carries Tommy away as the commercial for Reptar Cereal is about to end. In the commercial, a box of Reptar Cereal is shown alongside other breakfast foods.]
Announcer: Reptar Cereal, the cereal with scales. Part of a complete breakfast.
Tommy: Reptar!
Stu: Yep, rip-roar. We're going shopping.
[As Stu carries Tommy into the kitchen, Didi is sitting at the table, writing down the shopping list.]
Stu: You know, Didi, I think Tommy's gonna start saying real words soon.
Tommy: Reptar.
Didi: Yes Tommy, riffraff.
[Didi rips off the shopping list and hands it to Stu.]
Didi: Stu, here's the list.
[Tommy grunts as he tries to get out of Stu's arm. Stu grabs the list.]
Stu: Uh-huh.
Didi: And here are the coupons.
Stu: Okay.
[Didi hands Stu the coupons, which Stu catches in his mouth.]
Didi: And here's your calculator.
[Didi hands Stu the calculator.]
Stu: Mmm-hmm.
Grandpa: And this time, don't forget the Fudgy Ding-a-Ling Bars. We're all out!
[Grandpa looks and reaches in the fridge. Stu spits the coupons out upon hearing this.]
Stu: What? Pop, that's the fifth box you've gone through this week!
[Grandpa closes the fridge door.]
Grandpa: Oh, go ahead. Deny me my Fudgy Ding-a-Ling Bars, the one real pleasure left to me in my twilight years.
Stu: Pop, if you want 'em so bad, why don't you do the shopping once in a while?
Grandpa: Fine by me. Come on, Scout. Let's go get us some supplies.
[Grandpa takes Tommy from Stu.]
Didi: And don't forget the calculator, Pop.
[Didi hands Grandpa the calculator.]
Grandpa: Huh? I don't need one of them newfangled adding machines. I'm just getting some Ding-A-Ling Bars!
Didi: You're also getting a week's worth of groceries, and we're on a budget, remember?
[Didi takes the list from Stu and hands it to Grandpa.]
Grandpa: But I can't use one of those conflabbed things.
[As Grandpa tries to operate the calculator, Stu takes it from him.]
Stu: Come on, Pop, it's time to join the 20th century. I'll show you.
[As Stu talks, he operates the calculator.]
Stu: See, you activate the fractal cursor here, then perambulate your sum times this thing, which is the vector factor and correlate the decimal point minus the cost of your groceries. Got it?
Grandpa: Uh, what? Uh... uh...
[Stu puts the calculator in Grandpa's pocket.]
Stu: Don't worry, Pop, you'll figure it out.
[Didi hands Grandpa the list.]
Grandpa: Ha! In my day we did our counting on our fingers. And for really big numbers, why, we'd use our toes as well.
[Tommy coos as he wiggles his toes. Grandpa opens the front door and walks out, carrying Tommy. Stu and Didi watch as he leaves.]
Didi: I hope they come back with something besides forty boxes of Fudgy Ding-a-Ling Bars.
Stu: I hope they come back.
[The screen transitions to a view of the top of Grocery World, which has a globe atop the sign, and a windmill near it. Grandpa drives his car up to the parking lot. In the next scene, the automatic doors open as Grandpa pushes a cart with Tommy in the seat. The automatic doors close as he pushes the cart past some potted plants. They then pass a sign that says, SALE PORK RINDS. Grandpa looks down at Tommy, who smiles, then he stops the cart.]
Grandpa: Looky there, Tommy.
[An elderly lady can be seen pushing a cart with bagged groceries in it.]
Grandpa: Beautiful gal at 10:00.
[Grandpa points at the elderly lady, then whispers to Tommy.]
Grandpa: Now, scout, just let me do the talking.
[Tommy coos, and Grandpa waves to the elderly lady as she walks up to him. They are standing right next to a sign for Reptar Cereal, which Tommy looks up at.]
Grandpa: Top of the morning to you.
Tommy: Reptar.
Elderly Lady: Oh, what an adorable child.
Grandpa: Why, thank you.
[Tommy gasps.]
Elderly Lady: He has your eyes, I think.
Grandpa: Yep. Also, my ears.
[Tommy leans to look at the sign.]
Tommy: Reptar.
Elderly Lady: Oh, your son speaks such cute baby talk.
Grandpa: My grandson, actually.
[The elderly lady gasps.]
Elderly Lady: You, a grandfather? I don't believe it!
Grandpa: Amazing, isn't it?
[The elderly lady walks away.]
Tommy: Reptar?
[The elderly lady pats Tommy on the head.]
Elderly Lady: Oh! Well, bye-bye, handsome.
Grandpa: Bye.
[The elderly lady walks away.]
Grandpa: Oh, say bye-bye, Tommy.
[As Grandpa pushes the cart, Tommy reaches for the sign.]
Tommy: Reptar!
[Grandpa giggles.]
Grandpa: You and me are going to do all the shopping from now on, scout.
[Grandpa giggles. Tommy frowns, and the camera zooms in on him. The screen transitions to a view of Grandpa looking at the shopping list as he walks down the aisles. He picks up a can that says, SUPER CELLULOSE SOUP on the label and puts it in the cart. He walks down the aisles, then picks up a box that says, 100% NATURAL WHOLE MUCILAGE PASTA and puts it in the cart. The screen transitions to a view of a sign that says, BARK FIBER SAUSAGE. Grandpa picks up some linked sausages and and puts it on Tommy's head. Tommy grunts, then smiles. The screen transitions to a view of a box that says, CORRUGATED BRANPUFFS. The corner of the box says, BUY ONE GET ONE FREE.]
Grandpa: "Corrugated Branpuffs..."
[Grandpa walks up to the box, holding the list.]
Grandpa: Sounds tasty, yecch!
[Grandpa walks away as the camera moves down to Tommy, who looks around, then gasps. He sees a pyramid of Reptar Cereal, under a cutout of Reptar and a sign that says, MANAGER'S SPECIAL.]
Tommy: Reptar.
[Grandpa grabs the front of the cart and pulls it away.]
Tommy: Ooh!
Grandpa: Oh...
[Tommy points to the pyramid.]
Tommy: Reptar!
[Tommy whimpers as Grandpa pulls the cart away.]
Grandpa: Now, come on.
[Grandpa turns around a corner.]
Grandpa: Well, that's everything on their list. And now for the coup de grace.
[Grandpa comes to an entire aisle filled with Fudgy Ding-a-Ling Bars. There are signs near it that say, $1.25, SALE COUPON 20¢, and BUY MORE. Grandpa twiddles his fingers, then excitedly runs up to the aisle and grabs as many boxes of Fudgy Ding-a-Ling Bars as his arms can carry.]
Grandpa: Conflab it!
[Grandpa puts the boxes of Fudgy Ding-a-Ling Bars in the cart, some of which cover Tommy's head.]
Grandpa: Perfect.
[Tommy pokes his head out from the boxes and whimpers. Grandpa then reaches into his vest pocket and pulls out the calculator.]
Grandpa: And now I'll just add it all up on this dag-nabbed adding contraption.
[Grandpa is revealed to be holding the calculator upside down.]
Grandpa: As soon as I can figure out how to fire it up.
[Grandpa slams his fist on the calculator, turning it on, but also causing it to malfunction. He turns the calculator right side up.]
Grandpa: Ah, there. At least it's turned on. All righty. $2.79 times 12 boxes equals...
[Grandpa presses buttons on the calculator, which due to it malfunctioning, shows the total cost at $53,418.37.]
Grandpa: $53,418.37?! No, no, no, that can't be!
[Grandpa lifts his glasses, then lowers them.]
Grandpa: Now, now let's try again.
[As Grandpa presses buttons on the calculator, a Lady with a shopping cart passes by him and Tommy.]
Grandpa: Twenty-five times fifteen, carry the three...
[Tommy looks up at the linked sausages on his head, then grabs them.]
Tommy: Rep...
Grandpa: Minus the plus...
[Tommy waves the linked sausage like a lasso, then tosses them at the Lady's cart. They tie onto the cart, and Tommy grunts as he pulls on the sausages, turning the cart around. He grunts as he pulls on the sausages again, but the Lady takes no notice of this and picks up a can of hair spray that says, INSTANT BEAUTY. The lady then pushes her cart, and since Tommy is holding onto the linked sausage tied to it, his cart is pulled away. Tommy gasps, and as he is pulled across the aisles, he passes by a mother picking up a box that says, SQUEAKY CLEAN. Her infant daughter is seen in the cart next to her.]
Girl: Hey, where's your grandpa?
Tommy: He'll be all right. Hey, you seen Reptar?
Girl: Yeah. He's over, um...um...
[The lady continues pulling Tommy across the store without noticing it, then Tommy grunts as he pulls on the linked sausages. The lady has turned a corner, and Tommy lets go of the linked sausages, which spin his cart around. Tommy giggles as he rides the spinning cart, until he sees Larry pushing a cart with boxes of yogurt.]
Tommy: Whaa!
[Larry flinches.]
Larry: Whoa!
[Tommy's cart crashes into the boxes of yogurt, causing cartons of Yogurt to fall out of them, and Tommy to fly out of the cart. Tommy whimpers, then lands on a bag of Tighties diapers from "Baby Commercial". A carton of yogurt lands near him. Meanwhile, a caterer wearing an apron that says, CHEAZ STUFF is putting toothpicks on cheese samples until another carton of yogurt lands on her head. Another carton lands on the table of cheese samples, causing them to fly off. Larry gets up, then stares in shock at the cheese samples with toothpicks flying towards him.]
Larry: Whoa!
[Larry ducks, narrowly avoiding the cheese samples with toothpicks in them. The toothpicks land in the cartons of milk above him, puncturing holes in them, causing milk to pour on him.]
Larry: Oh, man, what a totally bogus job. I told Steve we should have stayed at the Octoplex.
[Back atop the diaper bags, Tommy scoops up some of the yogurt and eats it.]
Tommy: Mmm...
[Tommy looks down at the shelf below, then lands on it with his bottom.]
Tommy: Oof!
[Tommy crawls across the aisle, inadvertently knocking over boxes of WIPE OFF baby wipes and a box that says, SQUEAKY CLEAN. He then knocks over rolls of SUPER DRY deodorant and cans of NONSENSE baby powder. The things he inadvertently knocks over fall to the floor and make a mess. He then knocks over bags of TISS toilet tissue, MAXI pads, and more boxes of baby wipes. He then comes to a stack of SNUG FITS diapers and climbs down them like stairs. He lands on the floor by his bottom.]
Tommy: Ugh!
[The cart with the baby girl in it comes up to Tommy, and he gets on the section below. The cart stops.]
Girl: Hi!
[Tommy looks up at the girl, who looks down at him.]
Girl: What are you doing down there?
Tommy: Still looking for Reptar.
Girl: Oh. He's over there.
[The Baby Girl points to the pyramid. Her mother walks up to the cart and puts a watermelon in it. She screams in fear when she sees Tommy, who smiles and coos at her. The lady then backs into an empty cart, which rolls towards a pyramid of watermelons with a sign that says, MELON CAMP near the top, knocking them over. In another aisle, some customers, including the lady with the shopping cart that Tommy tied the linked sausage onto, are seen turning their heads. Steve runs into the aisle, with the watermelons rolling behind him.]
Steve: Whoa! Melon stampede!
[The customers scream and run away. The watermelons roll past a display of YUMMO cereal, which has pieces shaped like the letter Y. A lady and her infant son can be seen near a display of NONSENSE baby powder. The lady gasps, and the watermelons roll into the display, spreading baby powder everywhere. Some watermelons roll past Grandpa Lou, who, being preoccupied with the calculator, is completely oblivious to the chaos going on in the store.]
Grandpa: Now, that's twenty-four, and uh, carry the dot, right?
[The watermelons roll into a display of PERPI cola, knocking it down, and spilling cola on the floor. The watermelons then roll towards a tank of lobsters under a sign that says, LIVE LOBSTER in a font that resembles the Red Lobster logo. The watermelons roll into the tank, breaking it, and causing the water with the lobsters in it to fall on the floor below. As the water washes the watermelons and the lobsters away, the manager makes an announcement on the intercom.]
Store Manager: Cleanup in aisle one!
[An overhead view of the entire view is shown as the customers scream in fear.]
Store Manager: Uh, and aisle two, aisle four...
[The baby girl giggles and applauds. As the manager continues announcing, the camera moves down to Tommy.]
Store Manager: Aisle five...wait...clean...aisle...aisle nine...aisle nine? Aisle...
[Tommy crawls out of the cart and up to the corner near the Reptar Cereal pyramid. He gasps when he sees the pyramid.]
Store Manager: Cleanup on aisle three!
Tommy: Reptar.
Store Manager: Cleanup!
[The camera zooms in on the box of Reptar Cereal, and light shines off it. Tommy crawls up to the windmill and gasps. One of the windmill's sails gets stuck in the back of his diaper, carrying him up to the light fixture above the pyramid. Tommy grunts as he reaches the top of the light fixture.]
Tommy: Ugh! Ooh. Reptar.
[Tommy walks across the light fixture, until he reaches the top of the pyramid below. Meanwhile, as Larry goes through the Employees Only doors, he bumps into Tommy's cart filled with boxes of Fudgy Ding-a-Ling-Bars, causing it to roll away. It stops when it reaches Grandpa, who is still pressing buttons on the calculator. Back at the pyramid of Reptar Cereal, Tommy grunts as he climbs down the cutout of Reptar. Tommy stands atop Reptar's hands, nearly losing his balance.]
Tommy: Whoa!
[Tommy climbs down the cutout, and giggles when he reaches the bottom. He grabs the box of Reptar Cereal at the top, and rides it, sliding down the pyramid with it like a sled. He giggles as he inadvertently knocks the boxes over. He then slides towards Grandpa, who has finished adding up the total cost.]
Grandpa: And the grand total is...six dollars and fifteen cents. Ha! Can't beat that with a stick!
[Tommy stops near Grandpa, who looks down at him. Tommy picks up the box of cereal.]
Grandpa: Huh? How'd you get down there, scout?
[As Grandpa talks to Tommy, he picks him up and puts him in the seat of the cart.]
Grandpa: Well, never mind that. Let's get this stuff paid for so we can get home and eat it!
[Grandpa pushes the cart towards the counters, appalled at the mess in the store, completely oblivious to how it happened.]
Grandpa: Tsk! Tsk! Tsk! Just look at this place. In my day, they kept these markets clean.
[As Grandpa reaches the counter, a live lobster is seen on top of the cash register. Grandpa takes things out of the cart and puts them on the conveyor belt. The cashier scans them.]
Grandpa: We got your soup and your nuts, and your apples and your mallomars and your...hey, what's this?
[Grandpa picks up the box of Reptar Cereal and reads the slogan on the top.]
Grandpa: "They're round. They're mean. They turn milk green..."
[Tommy gasps in delight, and Grandpa chuckles.]
Grandpa: What will they think of next?
[The cashier picks up the lobster, which rips off his bow tie. The cashier then drops the lobster.]
Grandpa: "Well, I don't know how they got here but they sound a lot better than Corrugated Branpuffs."
[Grandpa hands the cashier the box of Reptar Cereal, which the cashier scans, and Tommy coos and smiles.]
Store Manager: Cleanup on aisle four! Larry, Steve, I need one of you!
[Larry and Steve are both holding mops, and Larry points at Steve.]
Larry: Your turn, dude!
Steve: No way!
Larry: Hey, man, I cleaned up the sodas!
Steve: Well, I just mopped up the baby powder!
[As Larry and Steve continue arguing, Grandpa pushes the cart with Tommy and the groceries past them.]
Larry: Yeah? Well, I had to pick up the lobsters!
Steve: That was at least an hour ago. It's your turn.
Larry: Forget you!
Steve: Forget you, too, man!
[Tommy picks up the box of Reptar Cereal and coos. The screen transitions to an overhead view outside the store, which the camera zooms out on. As Grandpa and Tommy leave the store, the episode ends and the credits roll, followed by the Klasky Csupo logo. For international prints, the Distributed by Nickelodeon International Inc. logo also follows.]

Touchdown Tommy/The Trial [1.11]

Didi: Oh, Betty, that was Mr. Fluffles, Tommy's favorite lamp. [Tommy cries] There, there sweetie.
[Tommy crying continues]
Angelica: What happened? I was taking my nap and I heard a loud sound.
Didi: Oh, honey, one of the babies broke the lamp Uncle Stu made for Tommy.
Angelica: Awww, Mr. Fluffle-luffles?
Didi: I'm afraid so, honey.
Betty: You know, I saw a lamp just like that one at Baby World last week; let's call 'em and see if they still got any.
Didi: Great idea, Betty.

Fluffy vs. Spike/Reptar's Revenge [1.12]

Graham Canyon/Stu-Maker's Elves [1.13]

[At the Clam Canyon, Tommy and Angelica eat ice cream while Stu and Didi split a bucket of clams]
Stu: This food was worth the whole trip.
Didi: I'll say, you never know where you'll find good seafood.
Tommy: You know, Angelica, this Clam Canyon is great but I think I had more fun at the Graham Canyon.
Angelica: It's GRAND Canyon. [to Cynthia] Cynthia, it's impossible to teach babies anything.
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