The Alvin Show

The Alvin Show is an American animated television series that aired in first-run syndication from October 1961 to September 1962. It is the first series to feature the singing characters Alvin and the Chipmunks.

Alvin: What'll we do?

Theodore: I don't know.

Simon: What do you wanna do?

Alvin: [looking up] I don't know... wanna build somethin'?

Simon: [to Alvin] What?

Alvin: [shrugs] I don’t know.

Simon: [shrugs] How about a bird house?

Theodore: Heheh yeah! Maybe we could get a bird to play with.

Simon: [to Theodore] Sure! A robin!

Theodore: A bluebird!

Alvin: What's the matter with an eagle?

Alvin: Dave, I gotta borrow your skis.

Dave: [casually] Sure, Alvin. [confused] My skis? Alvin, why do you want my skis?

Alvin: I'm gonna shove Stanley off the roof!

Dave: Hold it, Alvin. You can't shove Stanley off the roof! And who is Stanley?

Alvin: He's my eagle.

Dave: Come here, Alvin. You have no eagle. Eagles live only in high mountains. [as he lectures Alvin, Stanley bounces up and down by the window] They're never where people are. They fly only at an elevation of, uh... 14... [shakes his head in shock, and looks out the window, seeing Stanley] What was that?

Alvin: That's Stanley, the eagle!

Dave: [terrified] EAGLE?! THAT'S A WILD EAGLE!!! I'll call the police! Now, don't panic, Alvin! Operator, emergency! P-Police?! There's a wild eagle in my yard! That's right! Wild eagle! Alvin, don't go outside. I KNOW they live only in high places! Alvin, come back here, where's Simon and Theodore? I KNOW they never-- I tell you, there's an eagle! Yeah! A 40-foot wingspan eagle!

Dave: [pointing] Arrest that eagle!

Cop 1: [scene cuts to Alvin standing innocently next to the birdhouse] What eagle?

Dave: Why that eagle! [looks, but doesn’t see Stanley] right... [pause] Alvin, where's that eagle? [getting mad] Alvin! Tell them about the eagle!!

Alvin: Eagle? Eagles live only in high mountains, they're never in-

Dave: Now cut that out! Tell them about Stanley!

Alvin: [innocently looks around] Stanley?

Dave: Yeah! Stanley the Eagle, you know! [pointing at the birdhouse] And! That's! His! House!

Cops: [bemused, while the cop on the left points] "Stanley the eagle and that's his house."

Cop 1: Come with us Seville.

Cop 2: [they take Dave away] You've been making too many of them nutty records.

Dave: [the three Chipmunks watch Stanley fly in circles above] Now wait a minute! Alvin, tell them about Stanley! Tell them about Stanley the eagle! Alvin? Alvin?! ALVIN...!!!

Umpire: Strike one!

Clyde: What do you mean, "strike"?!

Umpire: That's "str-" for "str-", and "-ike" for "-ike", "strike"!

Clyde: Yes, surely, of course.

Umpire: Strike two!

Clyde: "Strike two"?! Obviously, you are blind as a bat, sir.

Fan: KILL THE BUM!

Umpire: Strike three! You're out!

Fan: Out?! Why, you!

[The umpire and the fan get into a fight, with Clyde and Leonardo getting caught in the middle of it.]

Clyde: Ladies and gentlemen, I hope to be with you next week. But in the meantime, let me point out that relaxation is an art. One must work at it. Voila!

Sam Valiant: [talking quickly] Sam Valiant, Private Nose, at your service, check! The right nose in the right place at the right time! The Valiant nose strikes again and the case is solved! There's your culprit! [handcuffs Alvin]

Alvin: Hey! I'm Alvin!

Sam Valiant: Sam Valiant does it again! Cough up the tape, boy, and let's be quick about it!

Dave: Stop, that's Alvin!

Sam Valiant: Definitely the criminal type, check. Low forehead, check, eyes too close together, sullen look, check.

Dave: That's Alvin! He's not the thief, he lives here!

Sam Valiant: Check.

Dave: Please remove those handcuffs.

Sam Valiant: [frees Alvin] You can't fool the nose, sir, check! [sniffs] Smells definitely like recording tape.

Dave: Mr. Valiant, this is a recording room.

Sam Valiant: Check.

Dave: It's full of tape.

Sam Valiant: Check.

Dave: Even I could smell of tape.

Sam Valiant: Check, confession is good for the soul, boy! Cooperate, and law will be lenient! Remember, anything you say may be held against you.

Dave: Listen, Sam, I wrote that tape!

Sam Valiant: Double incrimination! Wrote the tape and stole the tape! Charged on two counts!

Dave: Oh, no.

Simon: Leave Dave alone!

Theodore: Yeah!

Alvin: You've got a bum nose, mister!

Sam Valiant: That's a very unfortunate reference, boy! Never insult the nose! The eyes do not see what they think they blink, the ears are misleading, the feet go wrong, but the nose knows! The nose has heart, the nose has soul! Hail the noble nose!

Dave: Okay, Mr. Valiant, you have a splendid nose, now will you tell it to find my tape?!

Sam Valiant: Check.

Theodore: Mr. Valiant!

Sam Valiant: Don't bother me, boy.

Theodore: I found the tape!

Sam Valiant: Forget it, boy! Clues, find clues, look for clues!

Dave, Alvin, and Simon: [surprised] The tape!

[They run over to Theodore.]

Theodore: George built a nest!

Sam Valiant: Bird on the tape, tape in the hat, the nose comes through, and the case is closed. [takes the tape in the hat] Here's your tape, check, and here's my bill, check, send me a check, check, never underestimate the power of the nose, check! [cluelessly puts the hat with the tape over his head; Dave reads the bill, which totals up to $125] The nose knows all, sees all, and hears all, check!

[Sam Valiant leaves with the hat and the tape over his head.]

Alvin: He's got your tape, Dave!

Theodore: And George's nest! Call him back, Dave!

[Dave looks around the room, which is totally wrecked from Valiant's search.]

Dave: No, I couldn't stand it! I'll re-tape the check-- Tape, check! Check the tape-- Ohhh!

[Clyde has flooded the room while trying to take a bath.]

Clyde: Oh, uh, Leonardo, open the drain. Unleash the drain. The drain, Leonardo! What do you mean, I forgot to invent the drain?! Ridiculous, Leonardo, I never forget! You forget! Folks, I hope to be back with you next week, but in the meantime, I must invent swimming.

Dave: Well, hi, Simon.

Simon: Hi.

Dave: Theodore.

Theodore: [giggles] Hi!

Dave: Alvin, I see you've got here early, and you're rehearsing the band. That's very good. You know I would-- What's that great, big, expensive orchestra waiting for over there? Oh, boy! I'm sure glad they don't belong to... Alvin? Alvin. Say something, Alvin!

Alvin: Everybody ready? Violins, saxophones, trumpets?

Dave: You mean you hired all those musicians?

Alvin: You bet I did!

Dave: You know how much a 50-piece orchestra costs?!

Alvin: Ready, boys? [taps his baton]

Dave: Wait a minute, you don't need a 50-piece orchestra to play for three chipmunks--! [the orchestra starts playing loudly]

Dave: Alvin, will you cut it out?! What do you think we're gonna pay this orchestra with, chestnuts?! Now listen to--

Alvin: Slow down, buddy. I absolutely cannot understand a single word you're saying.

Dave: You can't understand a word I'm saying? YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND A WORD I'M SAYING?! Simon, Theodore, will you cut out that "la, la, la" and listen to me?! ORCHESTRA, WILL YOU PLEASE GO HOME?! ALVIN, STOP LEADING THAT ORCHESTRA! ALVIN! ALVIN...!

[In the end, Dave decides to throw all his money out of his wallet at the orchesta.]

Mrs. Frumpington: I have come on behalf of a most worthy cause, which I am sure you will want to support. I represent the the Ladies of the Square, that's Society for Quality and Universal Appreciation of Refined Enterprises, namely, "music".

Citizen: [shocked to see the ostrich sitting on top of Dave's car] Great Scott, officer, look at that!

Police officer: [with his back turned] I know, it's that guy who writes those nutty records.

[At the gas station.]

Dave: Fill 'er up.

Gas station attendant: Which one, sir?

Dave: The egg, of course!

Gas station attendant: Say! Aren't you the guy who writes those nutty records?

Dave: Never mind that, just fill 'er up!

[When the boys and Dave are held up at traffic, in the car next to them, a boy, named Wilbur, is surprised to see the ostrich.]

Wilbur: Mama, look!

Wilbur's mother: Wilbur, don't stare. It's only that man who writes those nutty records.

Dave: Alvin, you've disgraced me for the last time. It's bad enough tricking me into buying this car, but I'm not going to play chauffeur to that ostrich! I'll be the laughing stock of the--

[The ostrich gulps excitedly when she sees the light turn green.]

Dave: [mistaking the ostrich for a car behind him] Well, stop honking and come on around!

Insurance agent: You're very prudent, Mr. Seville. No car should be without insurance. Is that a car, sir?

Dave: That's it, right there.

Insurance agent: [referring to the ostrich] Is that part of the equipment?

Dave: Unfortunately, yes.

Insurance agent: [looking through his manual] Insure... car without ostrich... Yes. [the ostrich gulps] Car with ostrich... No.

Dave: Couldn't you make it a package deal, car and ostrich?

Insurance agent: [continues to flip through the manual] There's nothing in the book that covers car and ostrich, Mr. Seville.

Dave: Can't I even have fire insuance?

Insurance agent: Mr. Seville, ostriches are highly flammable. Good day, sir. And don't drive that car without insurance. It's illegal. Uh, by the way, aren't you the man who--

Dave: [irritated] YEAH!!!

[The Chipmunks are watching TV, when Dave comes over and shuts it off.]

Alvin: Hey, Dave! What's the idea?!

Dave: I'll tell you what's the idea. The idea is no more TV until you get that ostrich off the car!

Alvin: But she's hatching it!

Dave: Alvin, that ostrich couldn't hatch anything out of that car if she sat on it for a thousand years! Either you get that bird off that car, or no more TV!

Alvin: You mean, I can't watch me!

Dave: No, not for a year!

Alvin: But, Dave!

Dave: Make that two years!

Theodore: No TV for two years?! Wowee!

Neighbor: Hello, boys. I'm your new neighbor.

Alvin: Hi, neighbor!

Theodore: [giggles] Howdy, neighbor!

Simon: Hello, neighbor.

Neighbor: Boys, I've got a problem. I work nights. [the Chipmunks tisk] That means I've got to sleep all day.

Alvin: He sleeps all day.

Neighbor: Unless I'm disturbed. And then I get very UNHAPPY! Don't make me unhappy, boys. Bye.

Neighbor: As I was saying, boys, one more "pweep", and I'm going to get very violent.

Neighbor: [after being woken up by Dave] When I'm sleeping, I can't stand "pweeps". So, remember, neighbor. No more "pweeps".

[He pulls Dave's finger, and snaps it back, causing the pitch pipe to get stuck in Dave's mouth. No sooner does the neighbor storm out of the door, Dave sighs exasperatedly, causing the sound of the pitch pipe to come out of his mouth. The neighbor races back into the house.]

Neighbor: I said... no noise... [violently beats Dave]

[Dave is calling Alvin inside to rehearse, while he's trying to rest in a hammock.]

Alvin: [annoyed] "Alvin, Alvin." I know what he wants. Work. [spins in the hammock, falls out, and hits the ground] Work, work, work. [walks up to the house] Reherase in the morning, rehearse in the afternoon, rehearse at night... [enters the house]

Dave: Come on, come on! Let's go, we've got work to do!

Alvin: Is there no end to it?

Dave: All right, Alvin, I think that's about enough.

Alvin: Rehearse, rehearse, rehearse! [angrily plays the harmonica]

Dave: I said, that's enough, Alvin!

Alvin: Stop trying to shirk, work, work, work! Blah, blah, blah!

Dave: Now, cut that out! Alvin, can't I make you understand that we're a team, and to work as a team, we've got to rehearse as a team? It's teamwork, Alvin, teamwork!

Alvin: Teamwork! Teamwork! Teamwork?!

Dave: All right, Alvin, I think you'd better go up to your room and think about what I said.

Alvin: Okay! I can't. We got a baseball game this afternoon.

Dave: No baseball.

Alvin: But I've gotta pitch!

Dave: No pitch, and no football, basketball, volleyball, marbles, tiddlywinks, nothing. Absolutely nothing! Now go to your room!

Alvin's angel: Alvin, Alvin, Alvin. Aren't you forgetting something, Alvin?

Alvin: What?

Alvin's angel: Just what do you think is going to happen to Dave and the boys without your talent to help them?

Alvin: I don't care.

Alvin's angel: But don't you realize? They'll hit rock bottom!

Alvin: So?

Alvin's angel: Alvin, I just can't believe that you would let Dave and the boys... [a vision shows Dave, Theodore, and Simon homeless and out in the streets on a cold winter] stand out on some dark, lonely street corner in the freezing snow.

[Dave gasps and faints.]

Simon: Dave! Dave! What is it?!

Dave: [weakly] It's... It's hunger, boys. Hunger. I think I'm beginning to go.

Simon: What'll we do, Dave?

Theodore: We don't have any money.

Simon: No food.

Theodore: Yeah! No food!

Simon: Dave, we've just gotta do something before you... Before you...

Theodore: Why don't we ask Alvin for help, Simon?

Dave: No... No, you can't do that. You can't expect a star like him to care what happens to three bums like us. Oh, Alvin, why did you ever leave us?

Alvin: I'm going off and find some gold.

Dave: [rummaging around in the tent] Never mind the gold, Alvin, just go off and find some water.

Alvin: Alvin, go find the water! Why can't Simon find water? Why can't Theodore find the water? Always Alvin! Alvin this, Alvin that, Alvin, Alvin, Alvin, Alvin!

[A geyser of water erupts from underneath the tent, sending Dave flying.]

Dave: ALVIN! SHUT IT OFF! SHUT IT OFF!

[The geyser of water disappears, and Dave falls to the ground.]

Dave: Alvin, why do you always overdo things?!

Dave: There's so many things to see and enjoy, boys. Nature's children are all around us. [Alvin leaves without Dave noticing] And if we don't alarm them, they'll be our friends. [the bear snatches Alvin's hat] And if we're kind to them, they'll be kind to us. They can teach us many lessons. [the bear wears Alvin's cap] Can you name one, Alvin? Alvin? [Simon and Theodore see the bear coming and run away] Alvin? [the bear comes up to Dave; he gasps] ALVIN!! [runs away] THE BEAR ATE ALVIN! [the startled bear runs away] HELP! EVERYBODY! CALL THE POLICE! SAVE MY ALVIN! [a police officer stands nearby] Somebody save my Alvin!

Police officer: [holds his hand up] Hold it. [Dave, Simon, and Theodore skid to a halt] What's all the panic, mister?

Dave: Alvin! A bear ate Alvin!

Police officer: Oh, calm down, calm down, these park bears wouldn't eat Alvin. Who's Alvin?

Dave: [cries on the officer's shoulder] Alvin is the cutest, the sweetest, the greatest...

Simon: Hey, Dave?

Dave: And I tell you, a bear DID eat Alvin, and...

Theodore: Dave?! Dave!

Police officer: You shouldn't get hysterical in front of the kids, mister.

Dave: [outraged] I demand justice, sir! GET THAT BEAR--!

Simon and Theodore: [both at the same time] Alvin's digging gold!

Dave: [surprised] What? Simon, Theodore, what did you say?

Simon: Alvin's digging gold, Dave.

Theodore: Yeah! [giggles] He probably just lost his path.

Dave: [relieved] Oh, thank goodness. [angry] Why, that little--

Police officer: Now that we've solved your problem, sir, if you will excuse me, I've got a problem of my own. I'm up here looking for a payroll bandit. Now if you'll keep an eye open for my bandit, I'll keep an eye open for your Alvin.

Dave: Yeah, well, swell, officer. Thanks a lot. [horrified] BANDIT?!

Dave: [mocking Sam Valiant] "Where the tumbleweeds l'amour toujours". How am I gonna get anything done with that crazy song-plugger around?

[Alvin finds a large snarling mask.]

Alvin: Oh, boy! Hey, Dave, look what I found!

[Dave sees the mask, gasps in fear, and falls over.]

Simon: Hey, look what Alvin's got!

Theodore: Yeah! [giggles]

Alvin: Isn't this a keen Halloween mask?

Simon: That's not a Halloween mask. That's a primitive ceremonial mask.

Dave: Primitive mask?! Then there must be primitive people around! Careful, boys.

[Dave peers from behind the bushes, and sees a man cleaning out a long wooden tube.]

Chipmunks: What is it, Dave?

Dave: [trembling] Don't get s... Don't get scared, fellas. We're in danger, but don't... p... panic. There's a native cleaning his b-b-blow gun. The kind that... sh-sh-sh... shoots... poisoned arrows.

Simon and Theodore: Poisoned arrows?!

Dave: What's the big idea?

Alvin: I wanna watch the show.

Dave: You're supposed to be on stage.

Alvin: I don't want to.

Dave: If you're not up on that stage by the time I count three...

Dave: You ruined our careers. Get back on that stage!

[Theodore has taken food from the refrigerator to feed to Alexander in the basement.]

Dave: Who raided the refrigerator?! No milk, no eggs, no-- What happened to the leftover chicken?!

[Theodore shows up, holding a chicken leg, pretending to be sick.]

Theodore: Dave, I don't feel so good.

Dave: Well, that explains everything. You can't have a dog, so you eat yourself sick! And when you eat yourself sick, what do you do? You take something bitter! Right, Theodore?

Theodore: [eyes squeezed shut] Right, Dave. [takes spoonful of medicine, face showing disgust]

Dave: Tomorrow, we hit the road boys, so let's get a good night sleep!

Theodore: I could sleep better if I had a dog guarding me.

Dave: Theodore! And Alvin, take off your cap!

Alvin: Why do you always make Dave mad, Theodore?!

J. P. Lester: [hiding in a fireplace] Ready... set... [smoke appears and J. P. sniffs] Hey, what's that? Smells like something burning. [looks down] It is something burning! MMEEEE!!!

[J. P. jumps out of the fireplace and through the chimney. He falls through the sky, and lands in a birdbath.]

J. P. Lester: I must be losing my touch.

Dave: [after going over to the other side and picks up a sleeping J. P. Lester] Alvin, Alvin, speak to me Alvin.

Alvin: [walking up behind Dave, with an extra blanket under his arm] What do you want me to say Dave?

Dave: [looking at Alvin] Don’t bother me now Alvin. [looks back at J. P., who's now waking up] Now Alvin- [looks at camera before looking at the awake Theodore and Simon, sitting in bed] If that's Theodore... and that’s Simon... [looks back at Alvin] And you're Alvin... [looks at the ghost, who's fully awake] then you... must... be a-a...

J. P. Lester: [calmly] Ghost?

Dave: [terrified] GHOST!

[In white blurs, Dave and the Chipmunks rush out of the house and leave]

Dave: Oh, those kids. How can they get this yard so messed up in such a short time? Theodore! Simon! Alvin!

Simon: Yes, Dave?

Theodore: Yes, Dave?

[Alvin tiredly walks up to Dave, Simon, and Theodore.]

Alvin: Yeah?

Dave: All right, now, just look at this yard! [Alvin tries to sleepwalk away]

Alvin: Uh-huh.

Dave: Alvin! Come back here! [Alvin complies] Now, look. This yard is a disgrace and a mess. I want you to pick up your toys, put away your bike, get rid of those boxes, put up the ping pong paddles, clean up trash, in other words, clean up this yard!

Alvin: Aw, Dave! That sounds like a lotta work!

Dave: Work never hurt anybody. Anyway, it can be fun if you hum, or sing, or even whistle while you work.

[The Chipmunks were so busy singing "Whistle While You Work", they haven't cleaned up the yard.]

Dave: All right, you asked for it. I'm driving down to the corner to mail this letter. And when I get back, I expect to see this yard cleaned up. Understand? I want it spic and span, or you won't get out of the house for a week!

Chipmunks: For a week?!

Dave: For a month! And I mean it!

[Dave comes home and sees the yard has been cleaned.]

Dave: Well, that looks more like it. The boys have really done a good job. They put everything in its place. I always say, there's a place for everything... [he opens the garage door, only to find out the boys have moved the entire mess inside] ...and... everything... ALVIN!!!

Simon: Oh Sir Alvin, save me! Oh kiss me Sir Alvin! [Theodore giggles as Simon kisses the air]

[Dave has come home, depressed.]

Dave: Well, I guess this is it. None of the disc jockeys will play our records anymore.

Alvin: Huh?

Dave: They say they want something new. A new sound. They say our records don't have the "Top 40" sound. They just don't want singing chipmunks anymore.

Alvin: But that's a team record! It would be a big hit! And--

Dave: They wouldn't even listen to it. I guess we're through as recording artists. We're washed up. Finished!

Theodore: About our allowance, Dave, we want to know if we can have more--[Alvin and Simon cover his mouth]

Dave: [reads the newspaper; sighs] We'd better start looking for another job. Let's see. "Help wanted. Aerodynamics engineer. Astronuclear scientist..."

Alvin: Why won't you play our record?!

King Mallegan: Come on, Alvin, get outta here!

Alvin: But you'll love our new record! You gotta!

King Mallegan: I play only records of the new sound. Your new Chipmunk music just won't fit in.

Alvin: Well, let them hear this! This is the newest sound!

King Mallegan: [throws Alvin out of the studio] No!

King Mallegan: That record! Oh, good heavens, that's Chipmunk music! On my show!

[Dave is working on a construction site, catching rivets in a bucket, when he hears "The Alvin Twist" on the radio.]

Dave: That... That song!

Boss: Hey, mac, you missin' the rivets.

Dave: But, sir! That's our melody!

Boss: Listen, mac, you signed out to catch rivets, and that's your job. Now do it.

Dave: THEY STOLE OUR SONG!

Boss: Sure, sure, now catch the rivets.

Dave: Well, you won't get away with it. Do you hear?! I'll put a stop to this.

Dave: [going into the studio as Page holds onto his leg] Thieves! Robbers! Scoundrels!

Page: Sir, you can't go in there! King Mallegan's orders!

[Dave takes Page into the studio, and angrily faces King Mallegan.]

Dave: You...!

King Mallegan: [shakes hands with Dave] Why, Mr. Seville, let me be the first to congratulate you on a fine new sound. It'll sweep the country. I wanna apologize. I was all wrong. The public's the best judge, and they love your record. [gestures to Alvin] And thanks to this little fella here, I was shown my mistake.

Dave: Alvin, I've gotta hand it to you. You saved our careers!

[The boss from the construction site grabs Dave by the shoulder and pulls him out.]

Boss: Back to the rivets, mac.

Dave: But... But... But... But... But...

[Dave and the Chipmunks are catching rivets.]

King Mallegan: [on the radio] And so, friends, David Seville and the Chipmunks have another big hit. One that should sell a million platters! Boy, they must really have it made. I can see 'em now. Lolling around their swimming pool in a life of luxury. [laughs] What a life!

Chipmunks: [exhausted] You said it! What a life!

Dave: Yeah...

Boss: Hey, mac! You're missing the rivets again!

• Alvin Seville, Simon Seville, Theodore Seville, David Seville (voiced by Ross Bagdasarian, Sr.)