The Sword in the Stone (film)

The Sword in the Stone is a 1963 American animated musical fantasy comedy film produced by Walt Disney, and it was the 18th animated film in the Disney Animated Classics series. It is about a young orphan boy known as Wart who is given social and magical lessons by Merlin the Magician. Wart eventually pulls a magical sword from a stone and anvil and becomes hailed as King Arthur.

Directed by Wolfgang Reitherman. Written by Bill Peet. Based on the novel of the same name by T. H. White.

• (On a blue/black gradient background, we see the text "DISTRIBUTED BY Buena Vista DISTRIBUTION CO., INC." in pale blue, with "Buena Vista" in a weird signature-like logo fashion and the other words in a font that looks like carved wood)

[First lines; after the credits]

• Voice: (sings) A legend is sung of where England was young. And knights were brave and bold, the good king had died. And no one could decide who was rightful heir to the throne. It seemed that the land would be torn by war or saved by a miracle alone, and that miracle appeared in London Town. The sword in the stoooooOOOONE!!!!
• Narrator: And below the hilt in letters of gold were written these words: "Whoso pulleth out this sword of this stone and anvil is likewise king born of England." Though many tried for the sword with all their strength, none could move the sword nor stir it. Then the miracle had not worked and England was yet without a word, and in time, the marvelous sword was forgotten. This was a dark age, without law and without order. Men lived in fear of one another for the strong preyed upon the weak.
• (In a dark forest)
• Merlin: (he's seen trying to get water from a well) A dark age indeed! Age of inconvenience. No plumbing...no electricity......no nothing! (reaches for the bucket, but almost falls in) Whoa! Oh, hang it all! Hang it all! (brings the bucket up, dousing himself in the process, but hears an engine sound) Oh, now what? Now what? (sees his foot is caught in a chain) Leave-leave off! Leave off! (almost falls over) Oh, you-you-you fiendish chain, you! (sees the damage done to the trees) Ohh…everything complicated. One big medieval mess.
• (Merlin enters the cottage, where he pours the water for the tea)
• Merlin: Now, uh, let me see. (checks a pocket watch) He should be here in.....I'd say half an hour.
• Owl: (pokes his head out of a birdhouse) Who? Who! (exits the birdhouse) I'd like to know who!
• Merlin: I warned you, Archimedes, I am not sure. All I know is that someone will be coming. (adjusts a small chair) Someone very reluctant.
• Archimedes: Oh, pinfeathers!
• Merlin: (moves the table to the chair) Fate will direct him to me where that I, in turn, may guide him to his rightful place in the world.
• Archimedes: Huh! And-and you say he will arrive in half an hour? (Sets himself on a perch as Merlin sits down) Ha! Well, we'll just see.
• Merlin: (lighting his pipe) And you will, Archimedes. You will. (burns his finger) Ow! He'll be, uh…a boy. Small boy. Eleven, twelve years old. And a scrawny little fellow.
• (the smoke creates a vision for Merlin to see, but it shows a brawny man)
• Merlin: Oh, dear, oh, dear, that can't be the one. Surely not why that big lad must be on close on to 20.
• (he sees a scrawny blonde boy following the man)
• Merlin: Ah. There he is. A scrawny little fellow about 12. He's a regular little grasshopper. Look at him go. (laughing)
• Archimedes: And where…where would you guess he is at this very moment?
• Merlin: I am not guessing, Archimedes! I know where he is! Uh…less than a mile from here just beyond the forest. And right on schedule, if-if all goes well.
• (Meanwhile, the boy catches up to the man and clings onto a dead tree)
• Man: Quiet, Wart.
• Wart: I'm trying to be.
• Man: (looking around) And nobody asked you to come along in the first place.
• Wart: I'm not even moving.
• Man: Shut up. (Spots a doe) Aha! Here we go. Oh, what a setup. (preps a bow and arrow) Right smack through the old gizzard. (aims at the doe)
• Wart: Whoa, wh-oh! (falls off the tree and lands on the man, causing the arrow to fly high into the air as the doe retires)
• Man: Why, you clumsy little fool! (starts chasing Wart)
• Wart: Oh, Kay, please, I'm sorry. I couldn't help it. Please.
• Kay: If I ever.... (trips over a log that Wart jumped over) If I ever get my hands on, on you, I'll-I'll ring your scrawny little neck, then help me, I will!
• Wart: I'll get the arrow, Kay. I'm sure I can find it.
• Kay: Oh. (laughing) Don't warn me you're going in there. Why, it's swarming with wolves.
• Wart: I'm not afraid. (walks deeper into the forest)
• Kay: Well, go ahead. It's your skin, not mine. Go ahead, go ahead.
• (Later, Wart is searching for the arrow while a wolf spots and stalks him)
• Wart: (spots the arrow high in a tree) There it is. Oh, there it is. (carefully climbs up the tree, and as he tries to reach the arrow) Whoa! What…oh! (falls right through Merlin's roof, into the chair arranged for him)
• Merlin: Well. Then, you, you did drop in for tea after all. (checks his pocket watch) Oh, you are a bit late, you know.
• Wart: Oh, I-I am?
• Merlin: And my name is Merlin. (pours the hot water into the teapot) Come, come, who are you, my lad?
• Wart: Oh, my name's Arthur, but everyone calls me Wart.
• Merlin: Oh.
• Wart: (sees Archimedes looking silent) Oh, what a perfect stuffed owl.
• Archimedes: (stutters, shocked) Stuffed? Well, I-I beg your pardon!
• Wart: He's alive! And he speaks.
• Archimedes: And certainly a great deal better than you do so. (flies into his birdhouse)
• Merlin: Oh, come, Archimedes. Come, come now. (gives Wart a cup of tea to give to Archimedes) I-I want you to meet the Wart. Now, you must forgive him. He's only a boy.
• Archimedes: Boy? Boy! (chuckling) Well, I see no boy. (takes the teacup)
• Wart: Oh, I'm sorry that I.....
• Merlin: That's alright. (chuckling) He's much too sensitive.
• Archimedes: Sensitive? Right? Who? What? What?
• (Merlin pours Wart some tea)
• Wart: How did you know that I was…
• Merlin: Oh, th-that you would be dropping in? Well… (incidentally pours tea into his beard) I happen to be a wizard. A soothsayer, a prognosticator. I have the power to see into the future. Centuries into the future! I've even been there, lad, and I've seen all these facts. (gestures to plans and models) They're only plans and small models, of course, you know. (takes a train model) Now this, for instance, is a steam locomotive.
• (Merlin pours tea into the model, and with a push, it moves on its own)
• Merlin: (laughing) There she goes. Pretty good, right?
• (Wart turns the model around and picks it up)
• Merlin: Now, that won't be invented for hundreds of years!
• Wart: Oh. You mean you can see everything before it happens?
• Merlin: Yes, everything.
• Archimedes: Ah, ah, ah, ah! Everything, Merlin?
• Merlin: Uh…no, no, not everything. I, uh, I admit I didn't know whom to expect for tea. But as you can see..... (gestures to the hole in his roof) I figured the exact place! (inadvertently whacks Wart in the head)
• Wart: You're very clever, sir.
• Merlin: Yes. Well, never mind the----the-the sir. Just, uh, plain Merlin will do so. Now, then, would you care for sugar?
• Wart: Oh, yes, I would, please.
• Merlin: Alright. (claps his hands) Sugar? Sugar!
• (the sugar bowl jumps toward Merlin)
• Merlin: No, no, manners, manners, manners! Guests first, you know that!
• (the sugar bowl jumps to Wart and stuffs some sugar)
• Merlin: Alright. Say it, lad.
• Wart: If!
• Merlin: Have you had any schooling?
• Wart: (munching on tea cookies) Oh, yes! I'm training to be a squire.
• (the sugar bowl stuffs sugar into Merlin's cup)
• Wart: I'm learning the rules of combat and swordsmanship…and jousting and horsemanship.
• Merlin: Oh, yes, yes, very good. That-that is--uh-no, no, no! I mean a real education. Mathematics, history, biology, natural science, English, Latin, French… (sees the sugar piling up) No. If! If! Blast it all! IF!!
• (the sugar bowl retires)
• Merlin: Impudent piece of crockery. (dumps the sugar and dusts the rest off with his beard) Boy, now, you can't-- (magically beckons his chair where he can sit down) You can't grow up without a decent education, you know.
• Wart: Oh, I suppose not, sir…Merlin.
• Merlin: Well, I am going to be your tutor.
• Wart: But I have to get back to the castle. They'll want me in the kitchen.
• Merlin: Oh, well, then, very well. (takes a suitcase) We'll pack and be on our road. You…you watch now. You'll like this. (pauses for a bit) Higitus figitus zumbakazing! (incidentally twirls his beard, but gets out) I want your attention, everything!
• (the household objects turn toward him)
• Merlin: We're packing to leave. C'mon. Let's go.
• (the sugar bowl marches forth)
• Merlin: No, no, not you. Books are always first, you know.
• (the books start floating and the song begins)
• Merlin: (sings) Hockety pockety wockety wack, abra cabra dabra nack. Shrink in size very small, we have to save enough room for all. Higitus figitus migitus mum, prestidigitonium. Alakafez balakazez, malakamez meripides. Hockety pockety wockety--WHOA!!
• (the sugar bowl keeps hitting the teapot, and everything holds up)
• Merlin: Now, stop, stop, stop, stop! (clears the road to get to the sugar bowl) See here, sugar bowl. You're getting rough. That poor old tea set is cracked enough.
• (the sugar bowl jabs the teapot once more)
• Merlin: Now, alright. Let's start again. Ah, let's start…right…oh. Where was I, boy?
• Wart: Uh…hockety pockety?
• Merlin: Oh, yes, yes, that's right. (continues the spell/singing) Hockety pockety wockety wack, odds and ends and bric a brac. Be with you in just a moment, all packing's almost done!
• (Archimedes enters his birdhouse, only to squeeze out as it gets packed)
• Archimedes: You, you, you bungling blockhead!
• Merlin: (the stuff overcrowds him) Hey! Easy now; no, no, go ahead. (singing) Dum doo-dilly doo-dilly doo-dilly dum. This is the best part, now. Higitus figitus migitus mum, prestidigitonium. Higitus figitus migitus mum, prestidigitioni------WHOA!!
• (the stool is the last to go as he finishes packing, leaving the cottage empty)
• Merlin: Ha-ha!
• Wart: What a fashion to pack!
• Merlin: (takes the suitcase) Well, now, just a moment, boy. How else would you get all this stuff into one suitcase, I'd like to know?
• Wart: Oh, but I think it's wonderful!
• Merlin: Oh. Yes, it is rather. Now don't you get any foolish ideas that magic will solve all your problems. Because it won't!
• Wart: But, sir, I don't have any problems.
• Merlin: Oh, pah, everybody has problems. The world is complete with problems. (closes his door, but his beard gets caught) Oh, blast it all! There, now. You see what I mean----- (his beard gets unstuck, but it wraps around his head) GAHH!!
• (he pulls his beard, which becomes a big fluff of ball and he smooths it out)
• Merlin: See, that's the damage with the world today.
• (the trio walk off into the distance, with the wolf following them)
• Merlin: Everybody butting their heads against a brick wall. All muscle and no mentality. Do you want to be all muscle and no brain?
• Wart: I don't have any muscle.
• Merlin: You don't? Well, how do you move about?
• Wart: Oh, I suppose, I-I do have a little.
• Merlin: Aha. There, you see? Well, that's enough. Now, develop your brains. Knowledge, wisdom. There's the real power. Higher learning; that's the fact.
• (he slides down a cliff to a creek)
• Merlin: Then first thing tomorrow morning, we'll start a complete schedule. Eight hours a day. We'll have six hours for schoolroom and two for study period.
• Wart: But I...I do have the time. I have page duties.
• Merlin: Page duties? Ha!
• (he climbs up a steep hill)
• Merlin: Ah, well, we'll change all that. There has to be a shake-up.
• Wart: Well, yes, sir. I-I suppose so.
• Merlin: How do you ever expect to amount to anything without an education, I'd like to know? Even in these bungling, backward, medieval times, you have had to know where you're going, don't you?
• Wart: Ye...yes, sir.
• Merlin: Yes, of course. Well, you must plan for the future, boy. You have to find a direction. And you've... (mutters, but pauses) By the way, what direction is this castle of yours?
• Wart: I think it's north. The other road.
• Merlin: Alright, then we better get a move on. C'mon, c'mon, lad. Pick up the pace. Pick it up.
• (the wolf, exhausted from following Wart, eventually makes it to the top, only to find they're headed back down and faints)
• (At the castle....)
• Voice: Oh, the devil take it!
• (an overweight man is seen pacing in the dining hall)
• Man: Oh, the devil take it. Anyone has better sense than to go barging off in that infernal forest alone. You had no business letting him go.
• Kay: (eating a turkey leg) Look, Dad, I am not the Wart's keeper. (throws the bone to two dogs)
• Ector: Well, blast it all, I am! After all, I took him in, adopted the lad, you might say. Being his foster father, well, I'm responsible.
• (the two dogs run toward Wart and lick his face in emotion)
• Ector: Tiger! Talbot! Off with you! (pulls the dogs off as Wart's grin drops) Now, look here, Wart. What's the big idea of gallivanting off in the woods and concerning the living daylights out of everybody?
• Wart: I'm sorry, sir.
• Ector: Well, I'm sorry not enough. That's four demerits; four hours extra kitchen duty. Report to the cook!
• Wart: But, sir, I'd like you to meet.....
• Ector: Go ahead, jump it, boy! Jump, jump, jump it!
• (Wart runs away)
• Ector: Yes, you have to keep a tight schedule to run a big place like this. Need strict rules. Especially for small boys.
• Archimedes: (He's perched on Merlin's hat) And I most certainly agree.
• Ector: (turns toward Archimedes) Who are you---oh. (turns to face Merlin) I mean, uh...you?
• Merlin: Uh, my name is Merlin. And this is Archimedes, a highly educated owl.
• (Archimedes clears his throat, as if to speak....)
• Ector: Educated owl?! (starts laughing) Say, that's a good one. (stops laughing) Say. Hey, I know. You have him under a spell, Marvin. You're a magician, huh?
• Merlin: My name is Merlin. And I happen to be the world's most powerful wizard.
• Ector: (starts laughing again) Come off it, man! Gadzooks!
• Merlin: Alright. I shall demonstrate. Higitus figitus migitus mo, wind and snow, swirl and blow! (casts a snowstorm over Ector)
• Ector: What? What-wh-what the devil are you up to?
• Merlin: (laughs) That is what I call a "wizard blizzard."
• Ector: (chuckles) Kay, hey, would you look at this? An indoor blizzard. And in the month of July.
• Kay: (not paying attention) Then what?
• Ector: Alright, Marvin. Turn her off. Brr! I'm convinced.
• Merlin: Alakazam!
• (the snowstorm stops)
• Ector: (starts brushing the snow away) I, uh...I hope you don't go in for any of that black magic.
• Merlin: Oh, dear, oh, dear. Never touch the stuff. My magic is used mainly for educational purposes. In fact, that is why I am here. I have come to educate the Wart.
• Ector: Oh, dear, you won't. I'm running this place. And if you think you're gonna fiddle with my schedule, you'd better pack up your bag of tricks and be gone.
• (in a puff of smoke, Merlin disappears)
• Ector: Wha...well, by Jove. Kay, he's gone.
• Kay: Huh. Good riddance.
• Merlin's voice: I am gone, but then, I am not gone. Then if I do leave, you can never be sure that I am gone, can you?
• Ector: You will, uh...yes, I must say, you...have me there, Marvin. Yes. Well, as you win. You're welcome to stay if you like.
• Merlin: (magically reappears) Thank you. You're very kind. Very generous, I must say.
• Ector: Well, uh, all we can offer is room and board. Hard times, you know, Marvin, we'll put you up in the northwest tower. (points to an aged, damaged tower) That's the guest room. It's a bit drafty in the winter, but in this blazing hot weather, it's the best room in the house.
• Merlin: Oh, yes. Very lovely indeed.
• Ector: Then just make yourself at home, Marvin.
• Merlin: Marvin, Marvin, Marvin, Marvin. (heads into the tower)
• (Later that evening, it's raining and Merlin is putting buckets and umbrellas everywhere)
• Merlin: "Best room in the house"! "Guest room"?! Unwelcome-guest room! Well, if he thinks he can get rid of me, I have news for that old walrus. I'm sticking it out.
• Archimedes: And I say we go back to the woods.
• Merlin: Oh, not on your life. That boy has to have an education. He has a future.
• (the sugar bowl stuffs out the rain water)
• Archimedes: Well, you may be right. (exits his birdhouse) A skinny boy like that would make a cracking good chimney sweep. (Laughs until rain is poured on him)
• Merlin: Something warns me that you're all wet, Archimedes.
• (A horn blows, and they go to the window, where a skinny man on horseback blows a horn)
• Guard: Who goes there?
• Man: Pellinore! It's Pellinore, dash it all! I have big news from London! Big news! C'mon, man, drop the bridge!
• (the drawbridge is dropped, shaking the tower)
• Merlin: Oh, big news, heh? They can't wait for the London Times. First edition won't be out for at least, uh...1,2000 years. Archimedes, would you mind sailing down there and, and...
• Archimedes: Not interested!
• Merlin: (jabs his wand into the birdhouse) Oh, come, come, come, come now. You're as wet as you can get.
• Archimedes: No! No, no, no!
• Merlin: Archimedes! I'll turn you into a human.
• Archimedes: Huh! You wouldn't dare!
• Merlin: I will! Then help me, I will.
• Archimedes: (exits his birdhouse) Alright, that's it! Hold on! (flies down)
• Merlin: Alright. Works every time. Just like magic.
• (In the dining hall, everyone else settles down after a meal as Pellinore enters, much to Ector's surprise)
• Ector: Pellinore! (laughs) Pellinore. Greetings, old boy. And what's all the noise about London, huh?
• Pellinore: Big news, Ector. Really big news.
• Ector: Sit down, man, and let's hear all about it.
• Pellinore: They're having a big tournament, New Year's Day.
• Ector: Oh, that's not news, dash it all. They always do so.
• Pellinore: Oh, but, Ector, Ector, here's where all the emotion comes in. To the winner of this tournament, goes the crown.
• (Ector does a spit-take on Pellinore)
• Ector: You- (coughs) You mean...you mean he'll be king of all England?
• Pellinore: King of all England.
• Ector: Kay, lad, did you hear that?
• Kay: Pretty fair prize, I'd say.
• Ector: Yes, and you can win it, boy, if you knuckle down to your training. And we'll have you knighted by Christmas and off to London. What do you say?
• Kay: Sure. Why not? Why not?!
• Ector: Wart, lad, how'd you like to go to London?
• Wart: Oh, Sir Ector, you mean it?
• Ector: If you stick to your duties, you can be Kay's squire.
• Wart: Oh, I will, sir. I will. (tumbles down the stairs, spilling the dishes; but Ector and Pellinore laugh)
• Kay: I don't want the Wart for my squire.
• Ector: Here's to London! And here's to Kay! And here's to the banner of the Castle of the Forest Savage!
• (Archimedes flies back)
• Ector: Cheers!
• Pellinore: Cheers, cheers.
• Ector: Cheers!

Merlin: [regarding jousting] Science indeed. One dummy trying to knock off another dummy with a bit of a stick.

Archimedes: And The Wart's just as hot for it as the rest of them.

Merlin: Yes. That boy's got real spark, lots of spirit. Throws himself, heart and soul, into everything he does. And that's really worth something. If it could only be turned in the right direction.

Archimedes: Ha-ha! Fat chance of that!

Merlin: Oh, I intend to cheat of course. Use magic! Every last trick in the trade if, I have to.

[Merlin is being chased by the corpulent granny squirrel, eventually falling off a tree branch and into a bush]

Merlin: By George! I've had enough of this nonsense! ALAKAZAM! [in an atom bomb explosion, he changes back into a human, causing the granny squirrel to scream] There! Now you see? I'm an ugly, horrible, grouchy old man!

[The granny squirrel runs up a tree and chirps angrily at Merlin. In response, Merlin barks like a dog, scaring her off]

Arthur: Merlin?

Merlin: [turns around to see the girl squirrel hugging Arthur tightly] So, here we are.

Arthur: Quick, Merlin, the magic!

Merlin: Snick, snack, snorum! [turns Arthur back into a human]

Arthur: Thank you. [laughs, which causes the girl squirrel to gasp] There, now you see? I'm not a squirrel, I'm a boy. [the girl squirrel chirps as if asking a question] I tried to tell you. I-I'm a boy. A human boy! [the girl squirrel climbs up to a knot on her tree and sniffs] Oh, if you could only understand.

[The girl squirrel runs up to the hole in the tree and cries her heart out as Arthur remorsefully walks away]

Merlin: Ah, you know, lad... that love business is a powerful thing.

[The girl squirrel, sobbing, pokes her head out of her tree hole and watches Arthur and Merlin slowly walk away]

Arthur: Greater than gravity?

Merlin: Well, yes, boy, in its way, I'd, uh - Yes, I'd say it's the greatest force on Earth.

[The girl squirrel climbs to the top of her tree to get one last look at Arthur and sobs one last time as the screen fades to black]

[The Scullery Maid screams as she saw the dishes coming to life in the kitchen[

The Scullery Maid: Ector, Sir Ector, the kitchen!

Sir Ector: [to Kay] Hold it, son! Hold it!

The Scullery Maid: Black magic all over the place!

Sir Ector: Kay! Hold on, I say! Stop! [he smashes Kay in the head with his sword] Now, what's all the commotion, hmm?

The Scullery Maid: Oh, the kitchen! It's under an evil spell! It's bewitched!

Sir Ector: Oh... I bet it's that old goat Marvin. [to Kay] Come on, son! I knew he'd give us trouble! [goes to the kitchen and sees the magic Merlin used on the dishes and mops] GADZOOKS! BLACK MAGIC OF THE WORST KIND! Come on, Kay, to the attack![he whacks Kay in the head with his sword. Ector uses his sword to attack the dishes, but his sword is broken into pieces and the dishes push him in the bucket of water and soap, with the pan whacking him in the head and the scrubber scrubbed him in the face. Kay tries to use his sword to attack the mop but the mop hit him in the nose and whacked him in the head. The broom slapped him in the bottom. Kay tries to attack the broom but the mop covers his face and threw him on the floor with the mop in his face. The broom spanked Kay while the mop on his face mopped the floor.]

Merlin: Now, what have we here?

Arthur: Jumpin' Hoptoads!

Merlin: Alakazam![Merlin uses his magic to stop the dishes]

Sir Ector: So, there you are, you old goat! Well, what's the idea of flinging your evil spells all over the place, hmm? Oh, lend me a hand, boy! [Kay pulls Sir sector out of the washing bucket, but falls into the bucket as well] Well, what have you got to say for yourself, hmm?

Merlin: You call washing dishes and sweeping floors a work of evil?

Sir Ector: I'll decide what's right and wrong around here! Besides, that's the Wart's job. One of his duties. Look here, boy. If you wanna make that trip to London, you'd better toe the mark!

The Scullery Maid: You old goat! If I ever catch you in my kitchen again, I'll-

Merlin: [firmly] Madame, you won't! [disappears in a puff of smoke]

The Scullery Maid: [surprised] Oh dear. He-He's gone!

Sir Ector: Well, by Jove...

Sir Kay: We ought to run the Old Geezer right out of the castle.

Sir Ector: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, Kay, no! He might cast an evil spell on the lot of us. Turn us all to stone! Shh! No, there's no telling what the Old Devil might do.

Arthur: He's not an old devil! He-He's good, and his magic is good, too. If you'd just leave him alone-

Sir Ector: Now, look here, Wart, that's three more demerits!

Sir Kay: Box his ears, Dad.

Arthur: Just because you can't understand something, it doesn't mean it's wrong!

Sir Ector: [spluttering in shock] Ten more demerits!

Arthur: [in tears] You make all the rules, and nobody else can say anything!

Sir Ector: You've said aplenty, boy! All that popping off just cooked your goose! Kay, from now on, young Hobbs is your squire. You hear that, Wart? Hobbs is going to be Kay's squire.

Arthur: [quietly] Yes, sir.

Sir Kay: And that'll teach you to pop off, you little pipsqueak. [as he leaves the kitchen with Sir Ector, he chops a mop that humiliated him earlier in half with his sword]

[Arthur kneels in the kitchen alone with the broken mop in his hand, feeling sad and ashamed]

Merlin: [magically appears] I'm so sorry, lad. Sorry, I spoiled everything. I know that trip to London meant a great deal to you.

Arthur: Oh, it's not your fault. I shouldn't have popped off. Now I'm really done for.

Merlin: No, no, you're in a great spot, boy. You can't go down now, it can only be up from here.

Arthur: I'd like to know how.

Merlin: Use your head, and education, lad.

Arthur: [lightning up] What good would that do?

Merlin: Get it first, and who knows? Are you willing to try?

Arthur: [resigned] Well, what have I got to lose?

Merlin: [patting his back] That's the spirit! We'll start tomorrow! We'll show 'em, won't we, boy?

Arthur: [unenthusiastically] We sure will.

Merlin: Archimedes, have you seen that flying machine model?

Archimedes: I have nothing to do with your futuristic fiddle-faddle, you know that.

Arthur: [pointing to the airplane model right above Merlin] What's that thing up there?

Merlin: Hmm? Oh, yes, of course. Here we are. [takes it down]

Arthur: Do you mean man will fly in one of those someday?

Archimedes: [scoffs] If man were meant to fly, he'd have been born with wings.

Merlin: [winding up the propeller of the model airplane, but not noticing his long beard getting caught in it] I am about to prove otherwise, Archimedes, if you care to watch. Here she goes! [tosses it out the window] No, no, no - NO!

[The plane unravels from his beard at the wrong angle, and starts to fall out of the sky]

Archimedes: [laughs] Man will fly, all right! Just like a rock! [The model plane lands in the moat with a crash, and is sunken out of sight. He then laughs harder]

Merlin: It would have worked if... if it weren't for this infernal beard! [Archimedes continues to laugh hysterically] Man will fly someday, I tell you guys! I have been there! I have seen it!

Arthur: Oh, I do hope so. I've always dreamed about flying; that I was a bird and that I could go sailing all over the sky, high above everything... [Merlin sneaks up behind him and quietly changes him into a sparrow] It's my favorite dream. [sighs] But then, I suppose everyone dreams about flying- [notices his new form; happily] I'm a bird, I'm a bird, I'm a bird! [starts to flutter clumsily out the window]

Merlin: [grabbing him in one hand] Hold it, boy! Not so fast, not so fast. First, I'd better explain the mechanics of a bird's wing. [grabs Archimedes' wing and runs his finger along the feathers] Now, these large feathers are called the primaries, and-

Archimedes: And since when do you know all about birds' wings?

Merlin: I have made an extensive study of birds in flight, and-

Archimedes: [crossly] And if you don't mind, I happen to be a bird!

Merlin: All right, Mr. Know-It-All! He's your pupil! [sets Arthur down firmly]

Arthur: Ouch!

Archimedes: Now boy, flying is not merely some crude mechanical process. [clears his throat offensively at Merlin, who clears his throat in return] It is a delicate art. Purely aesthetic! Poetry of motion! And the best way to learn it is to do it.

Madam Mim: Sounds like someone's sick. How lovely. I do hope it's serious. Something dreadful. Oh, bat gizzards. It's nothing but a scrawny little sparrow with a beak full of soot.

Arthur: Oh, I'm not really a sparrow, I'm a boy.

Madam Mim: A boy?!

Arthur: Merlin changed me with his magic. He's the world's most powerful wizard.

Madam Mim: Merlin? [laughs] Oh, Merlin - the world's most powerful bungler! Why, boy, I've got more magic in one little finger! Now don't tell me you've never heard of the marvelous Madam Mim?

Arthur: Well, no, I don't guess so.

Archimedes: Madam Mim?! [flies off] Good heavens, good heavens, good heavens...!

Madam Mim: Why, boy, I'm the greatest! I'm truly marvelous! [sings] With only a touch, I have the power, zim-zabberim-zim, to whither a flower! I find delight in the gruesome and grim!

Arthur: Oh, that's terrible!

Madam Mim: Thank you, my boy. But that's nothing, nothing to me. Because I'm the magnificent, marvelous, mad Madam Mim!

Madam Mim: Say, lad, did you know that I can make myself uglier yet?

Arthur: Well, that would be some trick - er, I-I-I mean, uh...

Madam Mim: You want a bet? [hides her face in her hair, then pulls her hair away to reveal a sow's face] BOO! [Arthur jumps in fright] You see? I win, I win! Aren't I hideous, boy? Perfectly revolting?

Arthur: Well, uh, yes, ma'am.

Madam Mim: But, you ain't seen nothin' yet. Watch this. [presses her pig snout and turns into a beautiful, voluptuous wasp-waisted woman; sings] I can be beautiful, lovely and fair; Silvery voice, long purple hair; La-la-la-la; La-la-la-la-la; La-la-la-la-la-la; La-la-la-la-la-la-la; But, it's only skin deep, for zim-zaberim-ZIM! ["Beautiful" Mim yanks her long hair and explodes in a puff of yellow smoke, turning back into an old woman] I'M AN UGLY OLD CREEP!!! The magnificent, marvelous, mad, mad, mad, mad Madam Mim!

[Just as Madam Mim is about to destroy Arthur, Merlin quickly barges into her cottage]

Merlin: Mim! Mim! Wh-wh-what are you up to?!

Madam Mim: Oh, uh, oh, M-Merlin! Well, you're just in time. We were playing a little game.

Arthur: She was going to destroy me.

Madam Mim: And just what are you gonna do about it? Want to fight?! Want to have a wizard's duel?! [slaps Merlin across the face provokingly]

Merlin: [composing himself] As you wish, Madam.

Madam Mim: Well, come on. Step outside!

Merlin: After you, Madam.

[Madam Mim marches outside, followed by Merlin; Arthur flies out onto a tree branch to watch, where Archimedes joins him]

Archimedes: Wha-?! What's up, boy, what's going on?

Arthur: They're having a wizard's duel. What's that mean?

Archimedes: Oh, it's a battle of wits. The players change themselves into different things in an attempt to...to destroy one another.

Arthur: D-D-Destroy?

Archimedes: Just watch, boy, just watch. You'll get the idea.

Madam Mim: Now! First of all, if you don't mind, I'll make the rules.

Archimedes: Rules indeed! Gha ha ha! Why, she only wants rules so she can break them!

Madam Mim: [to Archimedes] I'll take care of you later, featherbrain. [Archimedes huffs; to Merlin] Now, Rule 1: No minerals or vegetables, only animals. Rule 2: No make-believe things like, oh, pink dragons and stuff. Rule 3: No disappearing. [squeezes his nose playfully]

Merlin: Rule 4: No cheating!

Madam Mim: All right, all right. Now, pace off ten.

[Madam Mim transforms into a big purple dragon]

Merlin: [nervously] Now, Mim! No dragons, remember?

Madam Mim: Did I say no purple dragons? DID I?!

[Arthur arrives in the castle guestroom in a squire's outfit]

Arthur: [excitedly] Merlin, look! I'm a squire!

[Merlin, angry and disappointed by Arthur's decision, scoffs and goes back to his stove]

Archimedes: Oh, uh...very nice, boy.

Merlin: Yes indeed. A fine monkey suit for polishing boots!

Arthur: [his expression falls] It's...It's what all squires wear.

Merlin: And I thought you were going to amount to something! [gets up out of his chair] I thought you had a few brains! [kicks over a stack of books] Great future! Hah! A stooge for that big lunk, Kay! Congratulations, boy!

Arthur: [breaks into tears] What do you - What do you want me to be?! I'm nobody! You...You don't know a thing about what's going on today! [Archimedes gasps] I'm lucky to be Kay's squire!

Merlin: [loses his temper] Oh Of all the idiotic...! BLOW ME TO BERMUDA! [magically rockets off to Bermuda by accident]

Arthur: Where...W-Where did he go?

Archimedes: To Bermuda, I suppose.

Arthur: Where's that?

Archimedes: Oh, an island way off somewhere that hasn't been discovered yet.

Arthur: Will he...ever come back?

Archimedes: Who knows? Who knows anything?

[Arthur returns to the tournament with the Sword in the Stone]

Arthur: Kay! Kay! Here's a sword!

Sir Kay: [takes the sword] This is not my sword!

Sir Ector: Hold on, Kay! Wait a minute. [reads the inscription under the hilt] "Whoso pulleth out this sword..." [shocked] Why, it's...it's the Sword in the Stone!

Sir Bart: The Sword in the Stone?! It can't be!

Sir Ector: But look! It is!

Sir Pellinore: It's the marvelous sword!

Sir Bart: [to the townspeople] Hold everything! Someone's pulled the sword from the stone!

Sir Kay: Now wait a minute. Anyone call pull it, once it been pulled.

[After Arthur pulls the Sword from the Stone again]

Sir Pellinore: It's a miracle, ordained by Heaven. This boy is our King!

Sir Ector: Well, by Jove...

Sir Bart: What's the lad's name?

Sir Ector: Eh, Wart. Oh, uh, I mean, Arthur.

Sir Bart: Hail King Arthur!

The Knights: HAIL KING ARTHUR! LONG LIVE THE KING!

Archimedes: [laughing] I can't believe it!

Sir Ector: [bowing before Arthur humbly] Oh, forgive me, son. Forgive me.

Arthur: Oh, please don't, sir.

Sir Ector: Kay, bow down to your King.

[Sir Kay bows as well, with an expression of remorse and humility]

The Narrator: So at last, the miracle had come to pass in that far-off time upon New Year's Day, and the glorious reign of King Arthur was begun.

[Last lines; Merlin magically enters the throne room wearing 20th century style clothes]

Arthur: Oh, Merlin! You're back from Ber-Ber-Ber-

Merlin: Bermuda? Yes, back from Bermuda and the 20th century! And believe me, you can have it! One big modern mess! Alakazam! [magically changes back into his blue robe and hat]

Arthur: I'm in an awful pickle! I'm King!

Archimedes: He pulled the Sword from the Stone.

Merlin: [surprised] Aha! Of course, of course! King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table!

Arthur: Round Table?

Merlin: Oh, would you rather have a square one?

Arthur: Oh, no, round will be fine.

Merlin: Boy, boy, boy - you'll become a great legend. They'll be writing books about you for centuries to come. Why, they might even make a motion picture about you.

Arthur: [confused] Motion picture?

Merlin: Well, uh...that's something like television. Without commercials.

The Chorus: [singing] Hail King Arthur! Long live the king!

• Sebastian Cabot - The Narrator, Sir Ector
• Rickie Sorensen - King Arthur
• Richard Reitherman - King Arthur
• Robert Reitherman - King Arthur
• Junius Matthews - Archimedes
• Martha Wentworth - Madam Mim
• Karl Swenson - Merlin
• Norman Alden - Sir Kay
• Alan Napier - Sir Pellinore
• Thurl Ravenscroft - Sir Bart
• James MacDonald - The Wolf
• Ginny Tyler - The Little Girl Squirrel
• Martha Wentworth - The Old Lady Squirrel
• Barbara Jo Allen - Scullery Maid
• Mel Blanc - Tiger And Talbot (The Dogs)
• Candy Candido - The Pike, Tiger Madam Mim

• The Sword in the Stone quotes at the Internet Movie Database

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