Someone please tell me I'm not crazy, becuase I really feel like I am right now.
Ok so, I'm trying to setup a webapp with python and django using heroku, but I've hit quite an odd obstacle.
It wants me to setup a virtualenv using the command $ virtualenv venv --distribute, which is all well and good except:

yeh, so naturally I googled how to install virtualenv and I found this:

But, of course:

So I continued my search by trying to find out how to install pip and I found this:

Aaaaaaand that's when I completely lost my marbles because apparently you need to install pip to install virtualenv to install pip. (maybe not, but that's why I'm a noob and I need help).
But then I took another look at the vitualenv installation guide, and found that I could download it and install it manually, so I extracted all the files from the downloaded archive into my python33 folder and used setup.py install. And I got this:

So I changed the line in that file to except ValueError as e and I got another error from a different python file in that same folder so I reverted the change I made and decided that it probably was not a good idea to meddle with those scripts.
Please, any help at all to do with setting up a free server with python and django would be greatly appreciated. Furthermore, I am sorry if my question is stupid, or incorrectly tagged.
 
     
     
     
    