Picking a resource at runtime
If you want to use a resource (or not) based on a runtime variable you'll have to compile it in always, otherwise you'll lose the option of using it at runtime.  
Whilst running you can access a resource using TResourceStream.  
Here's an example:
procedure ExtractResource;
var
  rs: TResourceStream;
begin
  rs:= TResourceStream.Create(HInstance, 'NameOfResource', RT_RCDATA);
  try
    rs.Position:= 0;
    rs.DoSomethingWithTheResource...
  finally
    rs.Free;
  end;
end;
Here's the online help: http://docwiki.embarcadero.com/Libraries/XE2/en/System.Classes.TResourceStream
Note that the help entry for TResourceStream is a bit broken; it does not show all methods.
The missing methods are here: http://docwiki.embarcadero.com/Libraries/XE2/en/System.Classes.TStream_Methods 
Picking a resource at compile time
Note that the {$R *.res} line includes any .res file in the current directory.
If you want to select a specific .res file, you'll have to exclude this line.
Conditional compilation is done using defines, like so:
 implementation
   {.R *.res}  //disable the *.res inclusion.
   {$IFDEF GetMyResource}
     {$R MyResource.res}   //will only be compiled if `GetMyResource` is defined
   {$ENDIF}
   {$R AlwaysIncludeThisResource.res} //will always be included.
You then define the symbol GetMyResource in the Conditional defines under project options, see here: https://stackoverflow.com/a/4530320/650492