I'm trying to find a way to tell Hibernate "whenever you create this table, insert these rows immediately afterwards"
Since Hibernate 3.1, you can include a file called import.sql in the runtime classpath of Hibernate and at the time of schema export, Hibernate will execute the SQL statements contained in that file after the schema has been exported. 
This feature has been announced in the Rotterdam JBug and Hibernate's import.sql blog post:
Hibernate has a neat little feature
  that is heavily under-documented and
  unknown. You can execute an SQL script
  during the SessionFactory creation
  right after the database schema
  generation to import data in a fresh
  database. You just need to add a file
  named import.sql in your classpath
  root and set either create or
  create-drop as your
  hibernate.hbm2ddl.auto property.
I use it for Hibernate Search in
  Action now that I have started the
  query chapter. It initializes my
  database with a fresh set of data for
  my unit tests. JBoss Seam also uses it
  a lot in the various examples.
  import.sql is a very simple feature
  but is quite useful at time. Remember
  that the SQL might be dependent on
  your database (ah portability!).
#import.sql file
delete from PRODUCTS
insert into PRODUCTS (PROD_ID, ASIN, TITLE, PRICE, IMAGE_URL, DESCRIPTION) values ('1', '630522577X', 'My Fair Lady', 19.98, '630522577X.jpg', 'My Fair blah blah...');
insert into PRODUCTS (PROD_ID, ASIN, TITLE, PRICE, IMAGE_URL, DESCRIPTION) values ('2', 'B00003CXCD', 'Roman Holiday ', 12.98, 'B00003CXCD.jpg', 'We could argue that blah blah');
For more information about this
  feature, check Eyal's blog, he
  wrote a nice little entry about it.
  Remember if you want to add additional
  database objects (indexes, tables and
  so on), you can also use the auxiliary
  database objects feature.
It is still not really documented.