As your app theme color is in color_primary in color.xml. you can use that in your selector like this. But you have to create two drawables file one for default state and other for selected_state. 
button_selector.xml:
<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<selector xmlns:android="http://schemas.android.com/apk/res/android">
<!--selected/pressed/focused -->
<item       android:state_selected="true"
            android:drawable="@drawable/button_selected"
            />
    <item android:drawable="@drawable/button_default"/>
 <!-- default -->
</selector>
button_default.xml:
<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<shape xmlns:android="http://schemas.android.com/apk/res/android" android:shape="rectangle">
<!--this is to give gradient effect -->
<gradient   android:angle="270"
               android:startColor="@color/gray"
               android:endColor="#@color/gray"
               />
<!-- this will make corners of button rounded -->
<corners    android:topLeftRadius="5dip"
               android:bottomRightRadius="5dip"
               android:topRightRadius="5dip"
               android:bottomLeftRadius="5dip"/>
</shape>
button_selected.xml:
<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<shape xmlns:android="http://schemas.android.com/apk/res/android" android:shape="rectangle">
<!--this is to give gradient effect -->
<gradient   android:angle="270"
            android:startColor="@color/color_primary"
            android:endColor="#@color/color_primary"
            />
<!-- this wil make corners of button rounded -->
<corners    android:topLeftRadius="5dip"
               android:bottomRightRadius="5dip"
               android:topRightRadius="5dip"
               android:bottomLeftRadius="5dip"/>
</shape>
you have to programmatically do the following as well, so that the button will stay selected.
button.setOnClickListener(new View.OnClickListener() {
            @Override
            public void onClick(View v) {
                if(v.isSelected())
                {
                    v.setSelected(false);
                }
                else
                {
                     v.setSelected(true);
                }
            }
        });