query="SELECT a.id, b.id
        FROM tab_a a, tab_b b
        WHERE a.ref = b.ref
        AND a.amount = -b.amount
        AND NOT a.tot AND NOT b.tot
        AND a.a_id = %(a_id)s AND b.a_id = %(a_id)s
        {p_id_condition}
        ORDER BY a.date desc"
i am trying
first try to match the ref, but if no pair found, try to match the amount
 
    