I found the following method which sounds promising: QToolbar::widgetForAction().
The QToolbar::addAction() returns a QAction* with the pointer of created QAction instance. This pointer is used with QToolbar::widgetForAction() and should return the corresponding QWidget*. Knowing that this should be a QToolButton we can apply a dynamic_cast<QToolButton*> which shouldn't fail.
To check this out, the following MCVE testQToolBarAddAction.cc:
#include <QtWidgets>
int main(int argc, char **argv)
{
  qDebug() << "Qt Version:" << QT_VERSION_STR;
  QApplication app(argc, argv);
  QToolBar qToolBar;
  QAction *pQAction = qToolBar.addAction(
    "Click Me", [](bool) { qDebug() << "Clicked."; });
  QToolButton *pQToolBtn
    = dynamic_cast<QToolButton*>(qToolBar.widgetForAction(pQAction));
  qDebug() << "QToolbutton::label:" << pQToolBtn->text();
  qToolBar.show();
  return app.exec();
}
testQToolBarAddAction.pro:
SOURCES = testQToolBarAddAction.cc
QT = widgets
Compiled and tested on cygwin:
$ qmake-qt5 testQToolBarAddAction.pro
$ make
$ ./testQToolBarAddAction 
Qt Version: 5.9.4
QToolbutton::label: "Click Me"
Clicked.

The QToolButton returns the same label like the QAction – which should count as proof.