The solution by anonymus_rex in the comments worked for me. Here are the exact steps I needed to take in case it could help anyone to elaborate a bit more. i was stuck on this for way too long.
I tried almost all of the answers in this question and this other one and this is what finally worked for me to get postgres to start
- tail the logs for postgres.
- the path needs to be updated depending on where postgres is installed, and your version. I am using postgresql@14 on an m1 Monterey and installed it with homebrew. 
- i finally found the path i needed to look at using this article. 
- tail /opt/homebrew/var/log/postgresql@14.log
 
 
output shows this:
2023-02-03 15:33:49.294 CST [82651] FATAL:  could not open directory "pg_notify": No such file or directory
2023-02-03 15:33:49.294 CST [82651] LOG:  database system is shut down
- go to the / directory and - cd opt/homebrew/var/postgresql@14
 
- create the missing directory (maybe this is a different directory for you) 
- repeat this process for all missing directories. - 
- I needed to mkdir for pg_tblspc,pg_replslot,pg_twophase,pg_stat_tmp,pg_logical/snapshots,pg_logical/mappings,pg_commit_ts,pg_snapshots, &pg_commit_tsbut i recommend you specifically run the tail command each time to make sure you are not missing different directories & files than me.
 
finally after running the tail command repeatedly after creating each missing directory, I got this output.
2023-02-03 15:49:18.909 CST [85772] LOG:  redo done at 0/17211D8 system usage: CPU: user: 0.00 s, system: 0.00 s, elapsed: 0.00 s
2023-02-03 15:49:18.914 CST [85771] LOG:  database system is ready to accept connections
i was then able to create & migrate my db in my project ・ᴗ・