Elegant is in the eye of the beholder... 
I would recommend making a custom validator to handle the three cases that you have.
I spent a while to understand what Validate could do... I came up with this to validate my form.  I used an async call to a servlet to do my username check... but you can put what ever you want in it.
I found another post on stack overflow that greater illustrates making custom validators...
I particularly like this line jQuery.validator.methods['date'].call(this,value,element) as it seems you can use the built in validators within your custom code. jQuery Validate Plugin - How to create a simple custom rule?
These are the resources I used in learning about validate:
http://www.ferdychristant.com/blog//articles/DOMM-7LZJN7 //article detailing how to really use validate.
http://www.ferdychristant.com/blog//pages/jQuery%20validation%20code
http://randomactsofcoding.blogspot.com/2008/10/starting-with-jquery-how-to-write.html
http://docs.jquery.com/Plugins/Validation/Methods/required#dependency-expression 
There is also an amazing depth of information simply in http://docs.jquery.com/Plugins/Validation ...you just gotta click through it all!
below you will also see that you can put javascript right into the rules section.
$(document).ready(function() {
$("#EmailUserEditFormId").validate({
    debug: true, //this lets it hit firebug
    onkeyup:false, //keep the traffic down for my async call
    rules: {
        username: {
            required: (jQuery('input#username:disabled').length==1)?false:true, //example of JS in a rule
            usernameCheck: (jQuery('input#username:disabled').length==1)?false:true //example of a JS rule with a custom validator 
        }
    },
    messages: {
        username: {
            required: "Please enter a unique username.",
            usernameCheck: "Username is already in use. Choose another."
        }
    }
});
});
...and this was my simple custom validator.
jQuery.validator.addMethod('usernameCheck', function(username) {
var postURL = "CheckUsername";
$.ajax({
    cache: false,
    async: false,
    type: 'POST',
    data: 'username=' + username,
    datatype: 'xml',
    url: postURL,
    success: function(xml) {
        unique = (jQuery(xml).find('unique').text() == "true") ? true : false;
    }
});
return unique;
}, '');