The only way that I know of is to do a custom Cassini startup on the post.build event. This custom made process kills all instances of Cassini, and startup a new one.
In order to get this to work, you will need to build a small custom command line utility. I have called it SpawnProcess here.
using System;
using System.Collections.Generic;
using System.IO;
using System.Text;
using System.Diagnostics;
namespace SpawnProc
{
  class Program
  {
    public static void Main(string[] args)
    {
      if (args.Length > 0)
      {
        // Kill all current instances
        FileInfo fi = new FileInfo(args[0]);
        string name = Path.GetFileNameWithoutExtension(fi.FullName);
        foreach (Process proc in Process.GetProcessesByName(name))
        {
          proc.Kill();
        }
        ProcessStartInfo startInfo = new ProcessStartInfo(args[0]);
        if (args.Length > 1)
        {
          startInfo.Arguments += "/port:" + args[1];
        }
        if (args.Length > 2)
        {
          startInfo.Arguments += " /path:\"" + args[2].Trim(new char[]{'"'}) + "\"";
        }
        if (args.Length > 3)
        {
          startInfo.Arguments += " /vpath:\"" + args[3].Trim(new char[]{'"'}) + "\"";
        }
        try
        {
          Process.Start(startInfo);
        }
        catch (Exception ex)
        {
          Debug.WriteLine("Error: " + ex.Message);
          for (int i = 0; i < args.Length; i++)
          {
            Debug.WriteLine("args[" + i + "]: " + args[i].ToString());
          }
        }
      }
    }
  }
}
Then you will have instruct Visual Studio to not use Cassini. Got to properties for your web application -> Web and select "Use Custom Web Server", enter something like:http://localhost:1685/ (Or whatever port number you would like to use).
Then, enter this command in the post-build event:
"$(ProjectDir)..\SpawnProc\bin\debug\SpawnProc" "C:\Program Files (x86)\Common Files\microsoft shared\DevServer\9.0\WebDev.WebServer.exe" 1685 "$(ProjectDir)" /
Make sure your paths is correct, for instance, since I'm running a 64bit OS, my Program files path is different from a 32bit OS. Also, my SpawnProc.exe is in a sub project.