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I installed Windows 7 fresh and installed SP1. A manual Windows Updates check hangs on the checking for updates screen. Following the advise in this answer: https://superuser.com/a/1022204/563857

I downloaded KB-3135445 and following the instructions, ran the standalone update, but it also got stuck at "searching this computer for updates"

What now?

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Download and install KB-3102810 first, before installing KB-3135445. Then install the SUR Tool. This solved the problem. When I reconnected to the internet it right away listed 200+ updates.