A failed, possibly autistic engineer.

Fluent in Korean, with basic proficiency in English, Japanese, Indonesian/Malay, and Mandarin.

Learned cybersecurity, the web, and industrial mechatronics — including mechanical, hydraulic, pneumatic, electrical, electronic, and software engineering (data structures, algos, concurrency), langs (x86 asm, C, C++, JS, Node.js w/ C++ add-ons, Python, Java, Go, Bash, WinAPI, OpenGL), debugging (logic analyzer, GDB, OllyDbg, IDA, Wireshark), web DevOps (Fastify, Express, PHP, Astro, EJS, Pug, Svelte, Wasm, ws, Socket.IO, Plotly, PWA, Chrome ext., headless browsers, Tor; GCP, AWS EC2/RDS, Cloudflare R2/CDN, Docker, Podman, K8s, systemd, Caddy, Nginx, Plausible), DBs (PSQL, Milvus, Redis, MongoDB), computer vision (OpenCV w/ CUDA), MCU (RPi Pico W, PlatformIO), motion control (Mitsubishi, ADI Trinamic), PCB design (Altium), 3D CAD & printing (SolidWorks, X1C), part sourcing (Misumi, AliExpress, DigiKey, LCSC, JLCPCB) — just enough to apply and start a business, although not certified.

Learned binary exploits. Played some CTFs. Got Ξ1 from Guerrilla Mail (Mr. Flashmob) for accessing the SMTP postmaster’s inbox via RFC-compliant quoted e-mail addresses, and a few hundred bucks from a national institute, for trivial reflected XSS’s.

Dropped all projects I found not feasible or not profitable as I’m running out of time. Building a rapid P&P machine to hopefully start a business out of it. Having another profitable web service business in mind.

Started engineering with ActionScript at 8 and C at 12, driven by isolation and lack of alternatives. Growing up with computers replaced the social experiences others enjoyed. Naively claimed “programming & gaming” as hobbies, not realizing I was deprived of social experiences others effortlessly enjoyed.

Trapped in the mire of situational depression that consists of social failures, isolation, and prolonged loneliness throughout the entire adolescence and adulthood, I found myself accumulating negativity. Picking up social concepts, how I got to this point, what they were doing with their lives, and how come they naturally had it, this gnawing sense of the lack only deepens. I feel like a misfit, born wrong to begin with. Recurrent retrospections into my empty past yield me nothing but misery.

To describe me further — In FOMO for years. Self-taught by trial & error in this demanding world. Living alone for 8 years with a cat and well-organized items. Gripping my mouse horizontally, scrolling with my thumb, since childhood. Developed a decent voice at 19. Trying to hit my macros & be social. Rarely drinking alcohol although once interested in mixology. Never smoking. Staying hydrated with Coke 0 & tea. Severely nearsighted with astigmatism. Suffering migraines preceded by a scintillating scotoma occasionally.

Written on MAY 1, JUN 15–18, DEC 15, 16, 22, 2024, JAN 17–19, 24, JUN 2, 12, 30, and JUL 6, 2025.