Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) (season 2)

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Bebop: Earth, make way for Bebop and Rocksteady!

Rocksteady: And away we go!

[Bebop and Rocksteady crash into the portal as it closes and Krang laughs]

Rocksteady: Why'd you do that?

Krang: Because I enjoy seeing both people and animals suffer. And you, my friends are both!

[The Turtles have just rescued an alien who's spaceship crashed into a reservoir]

Leonardo: He's still alive. Let's get him to shore, quick.

Michaelangelo: Man. This is one freaky-looking alien.

Donatello: He probably thinks you're pretty weird too.

Shredder: [watching from a nearby bush out of sight] What have those meddlesome turtles stumbled upon, now?

[The Turtles get the alien safely to shore]

Donatello: Quick, boil some water.

Raphael: We're not delivering a baby, dimbo.

Donatello: I heard it in a movie.

Leonardo: Head for the high ground!

Donatello: [trying to reach up] Uh, I got news for ya: the high ground is too high. [the Turtles get washed away]

Leonardo: Remember, we're turtles! We're at home under the water!

Raphael: Just keep telling me that!

Michaelangelo: Whoa buds. That was one totally radical ride.

Leonardo: Now all we gotta worry about is getting to shore.

Raphael: We've got bigger problems than that, Leonardo.

Donatello: [To Raphael] You're always looking for trouble.

Raphael: [points] Oh yeah? Well, this time the trouble's looking for us.

[A huge piranha fish is heading towards them]

Donatello: Yikes. It's Moby Dick's big brother.

Michaelangelo: I promise, dudes. I'll never eat another anchovy pizza again.

Raphael: I got news for you. You may never eat another pizza, period.

Dark-Haired Boy: I wonder where that lady with the three dollars went.

Red-Haired Boy: Yeah. This thing's starting to get heavy.

Shredder: I'll be happy to take it off your hands.

Red-Haired Boy: Hey! Where'd you come from?

Shredder: If you must know, from Dimension X, in a far-off galaxy.

Red-Haired Boy: You don't scare us, Mister. We’ve seen every episode of Star Trek.

Dark-Haired Boy: That's right. Now give that thing back.

O.M.N.S.S.: Greetings.

Shredder: Who or what, are you?

O.M.N.S.S.: I am O.M.N.S.S. Omnipotent Multiprocessing Nexus Sub-universal sentience.

Stockman: A thinking machine.

Shredder: Artificial Intelligence?

Stockman: Hmph! I prefer the real thing.

O.M.N.S.S.: A disbeliever, eh?

Shredder: Parlour tricks! Those are of no use to me.

O.M.N.S.S.: This is nothing compared to what I am capable of doing! With a stronger power source, I could control every machine in this city.

Shredder: Then you shall have it, my friend. You shall have it!

Shredder: [destroying punch-bag] Those blasted Turtles! Because of them I've lost the helmet!

Baxter: I think I have the solution to your problem Master.

Shredder: Not now! If Krang finds out about this…

Baxter: But Master, I…

Shredder: I said "silence" you blithering fool, I'm thinking! I can't be bothered with your ridiculous toys at a time like this!

Baxter: [muttering to himself] Ridiculous toys, hmm? [he puts the Sarnothometer in his pocket and leaves]

Shredder: Now, stop wasting my time with those idiotic inventions of yours! Baxter? Baxter, where are you? BAXTER?!

Blodgett: I can turn this gold watch into lots of gold. Piles of gold! (nothing happens) Oh, it didn't work. I wonder why not?

Baxter: Because you're an idiot, that's why!

Raphael: Where'd he go?!

News Anchor: And I repeat. Two delinquents are on a rampage in Times Square. One wears a rhinoceros mask, the other a warthog mask.

Leonardo: It's Rocksteady and Bebop.

Donatello: I wonder why the temper tantrum?

Raphael: Beats me. Maybe they passed a mirror and saw what they looked like [chuckles].

Donatello: This waiting is getting on my nerves.

Raphael: Don't worry. It'll be over soon.

Leonardo: And he'll be here any minute. And then we do what we do best!

Raphael: Yeah.

Michelangelo: Pizza! Ta da!

Donatello: Mm. Good stuff, Michelangelo.

Michelangelo: [Splinter arrives] Uh, master Splinter. I know you don't dig pizza. [He holds a sushi tray] So I got you a sushi tray.

Splinter: It is thoughtful of you, Michelangelo, but I'm afraid I'm not hungry.

Raphael: [to Michelangelo] He didn't want it.

Donatello: I don't blame him. Raw fish! Yech!

Michelangelo: Splinter's been acting mondo depressed lately. What do you suppose is bringing him down?

Raphael: He's probably worried about Shredder's next move.

Leonardo: I don't think that's it. I think master Splinter misses being human.

Michelangelo: Oh, I think you got it, bro. Like, wouldn't it be rad if we could grant him his wish?

Raphael: Yeah, but a chemical that can change a rat into a human ain't easy to come by, even in this city.

Donatello: Hold it, guys. I think I've got just the thing. Follow me.

Mr. Thompson: April, get in here.

April: I'm not that bad.

Michelangelo: Perhaps to the not in the sewers pizza.

April: [gasps] It's security guards.

Rex-1: Are you in danger?!

April: Stay still, now hold you tongue.

Rex-1: Whatever your say.

Irma: No way! I'm not let out of this room!

Krang: Someone has reversed the seismic polarities. The Technodrome is sinking and I'm powerless to stop it. Shredder, this is all your fault. I'll get you for thiiiiisssssss.....

[The Technodrome sinks into the lava].

April: What a story. And the remarkable thing is, they were defeated by four half-teenagers and half-turtles.

Raphael: Hey. And let's not forget one half-man and half-rat, huh?

April: Hey, I just realized something. I'm the only 100 percent human being in this place.

Michaelangelo: Aw, don't feel bad, April. Nobody's perfect.

[Everyone laughs]

CREATORS	Kevin Eastman · Peter Laird
COMICS	Mirage comic series  (1984–2010) · Tales  (1987–2010) · Adventures  (1988–1995) · Mighty Mutanimals  (1991 spin-off) · Daily comic strip  (1990–1997) · Dreamwave comics   series  (2003) · IDW comic series  (2011–present)
TELEVISION	Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue  (1990) · Turtles Forever  (2009)
	SERIES	1987–1996 series (1 | | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10) · Mutant Turtles: Superman Legend  (1996) · Next Mutation  (1997–1998) · 2003–2010 series (1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7) · 2012–2017 series (1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5) · 2018–2020 series (1 | 2) · Tales of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles  (2024-present)
FILMS	LIVE-ACTION	Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles  (1990) · II: The Secret of the Ooze  (1991) · III: Turtles in Time  (1993) · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles  (2014) · Out of the Shadows  (2016)
	ANIMATION	TMNT  (2007) · Turtles Forever  (2009) · Batman vs. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles  (2019) · Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie  (2022) · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem  (2023)
	FAN-MADE	Casey Jones  (2011)
	DOCUMENTARY	Turtle Power: The Definitive History of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles  (2014)
VIDEO GAMES	Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles  () · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles  () · Fall of the Foot Clan  () · Turtles in Time  () · Manhattan Missions  () · Back from the Sewers  () · The Manhattan Project  () · The Hyperstone Heist  () · Radical Rescue  () · Tournament Fighters  () · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles  (2003) · 2: Battle Nexus  (2004) · Mutant Melee  () · Mutant Nightmare  () · The Cowabunga Collection  () · TMNT  (2007) ·
SEE ALSO	Leonardo da Vinci · Donatello · Michelangelo · Raphael · Last words in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles media