Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) (season 3)

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[Splinter attacks the turtles and throws them around the lair]

Splinter: You are losing your fighting edge, my turtles. Were it Shredder who attacked you, he would not be so lenient.

Raphael: Aw, come on, Master Splinter, we already sent chrome-dome and Krang to the Earth's core.

Michelangelo: Yeah, right. Those dudes are totally dusted.

Splinter: Without positive proof, it would be unwise to assume that Shredder and Krang have been vanquished. Beyond that, may I remind you that you are still crime fighters, and that the streets of this city are still filled with crime. I suggest doing each ninja exercise twice. You obviously need the practice.

Leonardo: Well, you heard Master Splinter. Let's do it!

---

[Krang is scolding Shredder after another failed mission]

Krang: Shredder, you bungling idiot. I should've known better than to listen to you. And another thing....Wait, what are you doing? STOP!!!!

[Shredder rips a metal panel from the Technodrome wall and places it in front of Krang, covering him].

Shredder: Sometimes, I don't know who I detest more. The Turtles, or you?

Irma: ?

---

Leonardo: Let's get him!

Turtles: Turtle power!

Michelangelo: Cowabunga!

---

[Krang calls Shredder just as he is about to defeat the Turtles.]

Krang: Come in, Shredder.

Shredder: What perfect timing. I'm just about to destroy the Turtles.

Krang: Oh no you don't. I want that pleasure to be all mine.

Shredder: What are you saying?

Krang: I'm saying let them go. I have the robot now and I intend to destroy them on national television.

Shredder: I won't, I won't, I won't.

Krang: You will, you will, you will. Or I'll come looking for you in this thing. [Ends the call]

Shredder: You never let me have any fun.

---

Leonardo: You don't understand. We're trying to save the world from an invasion by an alien brain from Dimension X.

Clayton Kellerman: Oh come on, that's a little hard to swallow.

Raphael: What is? The invasion, the brain or the Dimension X?"

---

[The Turtles learn from Kellerman that he's going to keep badmouthing them in public despite them having just saved his life.]

Michaelangelo: Aw, man. What a scuzzbucket.

Donatello: [To April] Well, at least you still got the video tape of us tangling with Shredder.

Leonardo: Right. That'll prove we're not villains.

April O'Neil: Sorry guys, but my camera was totalled during the battle. [shows her camera into immune, which has indeed been totalled.]

Donatello: Oh great. Our name's still mud in this city. [The turtles turn around disconsolant and start walking home.]

Michaelangelo: Total bummer, dudes.

Raphael: Some days it just doesn't pay to come out of your shell.

---

Irma: Please, April. Just one little cookie.

April: Forget it, Irma.

Irma: Ooh, oh, look. My favorite flavor of ice cream. Mm.

---

Irma: Thank you, turtles. I feel like such an overgrown klutz.

Leonardo: Now, Irma, it's not that bad.

Irma: Yes, it is. I'll never be normal again.

Michelangelo: Aw, lighten up, Irma. It's no biggie.

Irma: No biggie?! (cries)

Raphael: Oh, nice work, Michelangelo. You and your big mouth.

Irma: Big mouth!? Waah!

Donatello: Hey! Cut it out! I just had my shell turtle-waxed.

Irma: And I used to think it would be fun to be tall!

Raphael: No, Irma, don't!

Irma: Oops! I did it again.

Random

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April: What's going on?!

---

Shredder: [To the Turtles] You wretched reptiles. You'll pay for this.

Bebop: Yeah. And bring cash. We don't take plastic.

(Pan into the Channel Six news stations along with the sounds of Irma sobbing)

Irma: Ohh! Men are such beasts!

April O'Neil: Is it Elliot, the new fella you just met?

Irma: Don't ever mention his name again! His idea of a double date was showing up with another girlfriend!

April O'Neil: Irma, the problem is you're too eager. You'd never see me jump the moment a man calls.

Mr. Thompson: April! Get in here!

---

Bebop: Say bye-bye ratso. Yaah!

---

Bebop: Huh, did you hear that?

Rocksteady: Hey. What's up? He's actually nice to you.

---

[The Turtles have just been beaten in a practice fight with Shredder whilst in Splinter's body.]

Raphael: Oh man. He whipped our shells, but good.

Leonardo: There's something strange. I know sensei's fighting style. And that wasn't it.

Donatello: Yeah. Do you know who it reminded me of?

Leonardo, Michaelangelo, Donatello, Raphael: SHREDDER?!

[extended scene]

Mr. Thompson: [pauses; opens the door] April, Irma, get in here!

Both: Yes sir, Mr. Thompson? Coming!

---

Leonardo: Come, my comrades. There are wrongs to be righted, and damsels to be saved. And you Musketeers aren't even dressed. [throws clothes towards Raphael, Donatello and Michaelangelo, who all catch them]

Donatello: Uh, my fault guys. I left the costumes that April sent over in Leonardo's room.

Raphael: Clever move, brainiac.

Master Splinter: Actually, Donatello did the right thing. You must humour him by putting on these costumes.

Michaelangelo: Pretend we're musketeers? Bogus dude.

Raphael: Look, I'd give Leonardo the shell off my back, ok? But I am not wearing lace with feathers and that's final.

Donatello: Same here.

Michaelangelo: Ditto. [They are now dressed in the costumes].

Raphael: I feel pretty stupid.

Donatello: Same here.

Michaelangelo: Ditto.

Leonardo: [screams] It's Grybyx.

April & Irma: Grybyx?

---

Splinter: Get up, Donatello? Get up! Donatello, get up!

April: [covers you mouth Irma] No Irma, don't say it.

---

April: That's Michelangelo.

Leonardo: That cake was Michelangelo surprise birthday tomorrow.

Irma: Oops, sorry.

---

April: Oh great, I'm doomed to be a decrepit twenty-eight-year-old hag!

Irma: Icky things? Oh, yuck! I just remembered a nail apartment back in the city. Ciao!

---

Leonardo: We've been trudging through this swamp for hours, now.

Donatello: Yeah. And all we've got to show for it are blisters the size of Rhode Island.

Michaelangelo: Yeah. And mosquitoes the size of seven-forty-seven's.

---

Donatello: The chocolate chip pizza.

Michelangelo: Chocolate chip pizza?!

---

Leonardo: Don't do it, Michelangelo!

Michelangelo: It's no use, Leonardo. Don't try talking me out of it.

Raphael: You don't know what you're letting yourself in for.

Michelangelo: A turtle's gotta do what a turtle's gotta do.

Donatello: Please, Michelangelo, don't go for pizza! It's raining cats and dogs.

Raphael: And the dough gets real soggy.

Splinter: Besides, there is still one last box of pizza mix in the cupboard.

Michelangelo: There is? All right! Well, let's get cooking!

---

April: Okay, Irma! Let's roll!

Irma: So, what did you find out?

April: I think Burne’s exaggerating. I didn't see a single rat. [Rats chew holes in the tires on the news van] I'm entitled to my opinion. You don't have to hiss at me.

Irma: Who's hissing? I agree with you. Oh, no! Two flat tires.

April: Make that four flat tires. [?]

Irma: Random

---

Raphael: Hey, Donatello, I thought you fixed this.

Donatello: Whoa! I did, and now it's fixing us!

Leonardo: I'll handle this!

Raphael: This beats everything. Now what are we gonna have for dinner?

---

Raphael: Smooth move, Michelangelo. What are you doing with that stupid cap on?

Leonardo: [to Michelangelo] And why did you take the starcruiser?

Michelangelo: Oh, I took the starcruiser to earn some extra dough delivering pizzas.

Raphael: Extra dough? You mean pizza dough.

Michelangelo: Never mind that, dudes. I just found out I've been hauling pizzas for Shredder.

Leonardo: Shredder?

Raphael: Boy, I know the villain business has been bad lately, but that's ridiculous.

Michelangelo: No, listen, Shredder put a homing device in the pizza, disguised as an anchovy. It was supposed to lead him to our lair.

Leonardo and Donatello: Ahh!

Michelangelo: Shredder's gonna be really steamed. When he finds out he's following the Rat King.

Leonardo: He's gonna be even madder when he finds out we're following him. Come on!

---

Leonardo: Surrender, Shredder.

Shredder: Say cheese, shellback. [grabs Rat King's pizza]

Rat King: Give me back my pizza! [Shredder throws the pizza at Leonardo's head]

Leonardo: I've been pizza-faced. Ooh, crunchy.

---

Splinter: Look. Squid.

Turtles: No! Squid! Gangway! I'm out of here!

Irma: Yes, April, I like it-- [hiccups] Oops!

Leonardo: Did you hiccup?!

---

April: Not a chance, Shredder!

Shredder: As your wish.

---

Master Splinter: As for you, April, I hope this has taught you a lesson.

April: It certainly has. I learned that a disguise is a great way to get a story. There's a convention of bald-headed diplomats in town next week. Maybe I could pass as one of them?

[She puts on a white skull cap, making her look bald.]

April: Well, what do you think?

Raphael: Paint that thing green and you could pass as one of us.

[Everyone bursts out laughing, except for April, who folds her arms and is fuming.]

---

Michelangelo: Oh, no. This disaster city. I can't look!?

---

Raphael, Michelangelo & Leonardo: Three sailors?

Irma: You're gonna problem with that?!

Leonardo: It's so nice of you to look after us while we're sick, April. By the way, this soup is cold. Could you warm it up again?

Raphael: April, can I have a glass of water?

Donatello: Could you get me another blanket?

Michelangelo: Tell me a story.

April: Ah, for a bunch of heroes on the half shell, they can be real babies!

---

Leonardo: What is it?

Donatello: He looks like a giant turtle.

Splinter: Be careful, my students. You are pitted against a superior fighting machine.

Raphael: That doesn't scare us.

Metalhead: I am Metalhead. I crush turtles.

Raphael: Now, that scares us.

---

Krang: What is taking so long?

[The transport module arrives]

Krang: Well it's about time. Er, What is that?

[Rocksteady and Bebop are carrying Shredder, whose trapped in a block of concrete with only his legs showing]

Rocksteady: Erm, we had a little accident, Krang.

Bebop: Yeah. You got a chisel handy?

---

Raphael: Oh, no. Not again! I'm beginning to hate that invention.

---

Michelangelo: Nyah, nyah nyah, nyah you can't get us."

Raphael: [annoyed] Will you cool it, Michelangelo. We've got more important things to worry about."

Donatello: That might be a clue. It looks like someone tracked it in. If we knew what it is and where it came from, we'd know where took Irma.

---

Irma: Oh boy! You've come to rescue me! Now I can go on my date.

Turtles: Shh! Quiet.

Shredder: The turtles! Get them!

---

Raphael: Perhaps in the sewers to the pizza--

Rocksteady: We do now!

April: It's Rocksteady. Go, Irma and Turtles! GO!

Rocksteady: [grabs Irma] Gotcha! I gonna to ties the ropes!

Bebop: Let's go!

April: [Irma shrieks] Irma! [Irma: Let me go!!] Get back here with my Irma! You pay for this! [gasps] They've escaped!

Tiffany: Escaped?!

Turtle Terminator: Go Turtles. Zap go turtles!

Mr. Thompson: Yikes! It's Turtle Terminator!

---

All: Here we are! Over here! Hey, android!

Donatello: Hey, Michelangelo, how about a pizza with the works?

Michelangelo: Pizza? No way, dude. I crave pizza no more.

Leonardo: Amazing.

Donatello: Astonishing.

Raphael: Not bad. Maybe now it's safe to order out for some pizzas.

Shredder: No need, dudes. I brought back some takeout. So, like, let's get down and pig out.

Leonardo: It's Shredder!

Shredder: Where!? Where!?

---

Raphael: Psst! Yo, April.

April: Turtles, what are you doing here?

Shredder: Hey, babe! What's going down in this here town?

April: [gasps] I don't believe it. That's Shred-

Leonardo: [covers April's mouth] Whatever you do, don't say his name. I'll explain later.

Tiffany: [camera clicks] Say, "cheese!"

Irma, Vernon, April O'Neil, Mr. Thompson: Cheese!

---

Donatello: Wow, way to go, Wolfman.

[The Turtles have just fought Casey Jones and he has escaped.]

Raphael: That guy's seen too many Filthy Harry movies.

Leonardo: Come on. We better stop him.

Raphael: Why us? Let the cops handle him.

Donatello: Think, Raphael. He pops in and out of the sewers. He fights crime. He knows Kung Fu.

Raphael: In other words, people are gonna think he's us.

Leonardo: Now do you see why we have to stop him?

Michaelangelo: Yeah. Our reptile reputations will get a bad rap.

---

[Raphael throws his sai into April's camera whilst it is acting up alongside her scooter.]

Raphael: Say cheese, cheeseball.

April: Turtles. Oh, thank goodness you're here.

[Raphael jumps on the scooter whilst it is in motion and removes his sai from the camera just before it throws him off.]

Raphael: Has your camera always acted like that?

April: It's like it suddenly had a mind of its own. And worse, my scooter drove off by itself.

Donatello: We'll deal with that later. Right now, we gotta find that dipstick in the hockey mask.

---

Donatello: Well, so much for those bugs. And Krang's giant knucklehead.

Leonardo: And we couldn't have done it without you, Casey.

Michaelangelo: Yeah, you are truly.... [he turns around to see that Casey has left] ...gone.

Donatello: How do you like that? He didn't even say goodbye.

Leonardo: He was a strange guy. Reckless, dangerous, and totally violent.

Raphael: Yeah. I liked him too.

Leonardo: Somehow, I got the feeling he'll cross our paths again.

Casey Jones: [he has overheard the conversation from afar] Somehow, I got a feeling he's right.

CREATORS	Kevin Eastman · Peter Laird
COMICS	Mirage comic series  (1984–2010) · Tales  (1987–2010) · Adventures  (1988–1995) · Mighty Mutanimals  (1991 spin-off) · Daily comic strip  (1990–1997) · Dreamwave comics   series  (2003) · IDW comic series  (2011–present)
TELEVISION	Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue  (1990) · Turtles Forever  (2009)
	SERIES	1987–1996 series (1 | 2 | | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10) · Mutant Turtles: Superman Legend  (1996) · Next Mutation  (1997–1998) · 2003–2010 series (1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7) · 2012–2017 series (1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5) · 2018–2020 series (1 | 2) · Tales of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles  (2024-present)
FILMS	LIVE-ACTION	Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles  (1990) · II: The Secret of the Ooze  (1991) · III: Turtles in Time  (1993) · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles  (2014) · Out of the Shadows  (2016)
	ANIMATION	TMNT  (2007) · Turtles Forever  (2009) · Batman vs. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles  (2019) · Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie  (2022) · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem  (2023)
	FAN-MADE	Casey Jones  (2011)
	DOCUMENTARY	Turtle Power: The Definitive History of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles  (2014)
VIDEO GAMES	Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles  () · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles  () · Fall of the Foot Clan  () · Turtles in Time  () · Manhattan Missions  () · Back from the Sewers  () · The Manhattan Project  () · The Hyperstone Heist  () · Radical Rescue  () · Tournament Fighters  () · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles  (2003) · 2: Battle Nexus  (2004) · Mutant Melee  () · Mutant Nightmare  () · The Cowabunga Collection  () · TMNT  (2007) ·
SEE ALSO	Leonardo da Vinci · Donatello · Michelangelo · Raphael · Last words in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles media